We are all packed and now it is just a matter of the countdown. The dog is not happy and she is giving me that look! Only three days until we finally get to go on our adventure. Tick, tick, tick.
Hawaii – The Most Beautiful Ending
13th October – Hawaii – Chill Time
Today we are heading to Hawaii, and we are so excited and sad. We love Hawaii but it also indicates that our holiday is coming to an end.
The uber has been ordered, obviously there will need to be some organisational expertise and that, is my superpower. However, the uber driver seems to think he knows better. After 5 minutes of messing about, I take over, I stack, I pack, we are good to go.
Men should just know they are not good at this, and step away.
The drive to the airport is super easy. Hard to believe that we are in LA. I am thankful that the crowds are not up early.
Everything goes extremely well, check in for luggage – no issues, through security – no problems, we reach the lounge. We are eligible to access the Alaska Airlines lounge, we have First Class and are flying to Hawaii, but they have a waitlist, so we just need to give them a phone number, and there in lies the problem.
We talk about a few options, and ultimately, we are just too much trouble. The lovely woman lets us in. Sometimes it’s a good thing to be unmanageable.
Weird thing, they bring the time of our flight forward. We were completely unaware, no notification was posted, Jason noticed this on the big screen, and the receptionist confirmed that we were now leaving early, so we picked up everything and go to the gate.
The thing is there is no plane at the gate, the incoming plane is late, the information on the board was wrong. In fact, we are not early, we are late, late, late.
Luckily, we don’t have anywhere to be, in fact we are just cruising. No point in stressing, though others have connecting flights and they are not happy.
Again, we are in “First Class” it is a six-hour flight and we really appreciate the comfortable seats, and the extra leg room. The flight goes by very quickly, before we know it we land in Honolulu and the weather is AMAZING!
All bags arrive, whoop, whoop. Its less than 30 minutes to our accommodation. Check in was super easy and the condo is lovely. Compact, but tidy and has everything we need, including a magnificent view.
We unpack, locate the laundry room and do some, much needed, life admin. On our list is going to the supermarket and getting staples. Even though we are on holiday we want a little bit of normality, so plan to make our own breakfast, and Jason is going to have instant coffee… most of the time.
We head over to Whole Foods, did you know that if you have Amazon Prime you get a discount on your groceries. That was pretty cool, and even though my prime membership is from Australia I still got the discount. How cool is that!
After our life admin was all taken care of, we were shattered and, taking the advice of our tour guide Shanthi, we opted to have poke bowls from the restaurant downstairs. The food was delicious, the accommodation very comfortable. Welcome to Hawaii, life is good.
There is a 3 hours’ time difference from LA, so we do our best to stay up and get into synch. Around 900pm we admit defeat. Goodnight.
14th October – Exploring Honolulu
A lovely sleep. Jason does not think much of the bed, it is very soft. Personally, I love it, its like sleeping on a bed that hugs you!
We are awake nice and early, the time difference probably has something to do with that. The day out the window is stunning, when I open the doors to the balcony, the weather matches the view. Stunning.
A homemade breakfast, quite the novelty, off to the gym, a great and normal way to start the day.
Time to hit the streets and see what we can remember of Honolulu, its been 7 years since we were last here on our world trip/honeymoon.
Jason suggests we try and find the handbag store where I got a beautiful handbag from. As I am always wanting to make my man happy, I agree. It had nothing to do with my hope of buying another handbag.
Neither of us could remember the name of the store, I could vaguely remember what the shopping centre looked like. A quick Google search had a list of the shopping malls with an atrium and a tree in the middle, sure enough one of the names rang true.
We find the mall and, there is was, in the same place. It’s a miracle when I see small boutique shops have survived covid, I was super chuffed. Unfortunately for me, they no longer make handbags. So it was a lovely nostalgic adventure, but resulted in no new handbags!
Jason, god bless his cotton socks, suggested I go to a few other handbag shops. As lovely as that was, I really wasn’t interested in mass market handbags. So we continued on our walk. Down the main street, there were some young men handing out freebies from their jewellery store, probably a pearl or something.
Jason, who was walking just behind me, puts up his hand and says (in his best police officer voice) “no thanks mate”.
The young man takes a step back “you her body guard?”.
Jason was a little perplexed, why would he say that. I just laughed. Some people really don’t have a lot of self-awareness. From now on I think I shall keep my bodyguard. Doesn’t hurt he’s handsome either – eat your heart out.
Its only 11am, but it feels much later. We stop off at OMG, Ohau Mexican Grill, for some guacamole and a margarita. Possibly one of the best morning teas I have had in a long time.
We walk along the beach back to our accommodation, time for a swim in the sea. The water is lovely and warm. Its like walking into a bath. I also find the water to be quite buoyant, really easy to just float around. Holidays!
Onto the hotel pool, which is surrounded by various versions of Magda from “Theres Something About Mary”. It’s a little scary and an excellent reminder as to why we wear sunscreen. The pool is warm too. The weather starts to change and a big cloud rolls in, clearly an indicator that we should do something else.
We jump in an uber and head to the outlet mall. I am beginning to realise we should have rented a car.
We walk in and out of various stores really finding nothing that we are interested in. The outlet mall is a big disappointment, a failed mission. We did manage to have lunch at a food truck, then we uber back.
Sitting on the balcony, sipping our afternoon drinks the rain comes in and according to our somewhat nutty Uber driver, is here to wash away our sins. In typical tropical operating mode, the rain does not last long and watch the sun come out again.
We watch the sun set before heading out for dinner. We have decided to try out one of the best rated fish restaurants in Waikiki, Paia. It is very close by. When we get there the queue is huge, down the steps, and down the street. Nope, that’s a nope for me. We keep walking and find something else to eat.
Being the amazing wife that I am, I find a brewery AND it turns out they serve food AND they have tables available. Well lock that shit in. The walk up three flights of stairs is absolutely worthwhile, the service was really great, the food was tasty and plentiful and, according to my inhouse expert, the beer is good.
So good, next time we were at the supermarket he swapped out his beloved Longboard for a 6 pack of Maui Blonde. So, its true, gentlemen prefer blondes.
Full bellies, great refreshments, in an amazing location, we wander back to the hotel. I spot… it can’t be can it… a wigglebutt. And yes, it is. A STAFFY. We compliment the woman on her choice of dogs and go home happy.
Goodnight.
15th October – Today we find Dinosaurs!
Before I talk about our day I wanted to call out a union strike that is happening at a hotel near us. When we were staying at the Hilton in Anaheim, one of the workers asked where we were staying in Hawaii, hoping that we were not staying at the Hilton Village in Honolulu as they are on strike.
The break down is the unionised workers at Hilton Hawaiian Village Waikiki Beach Resort — the largest Hilton in the world — began an open-ended strike. They are calling for conditions including higher wages, more manageable workloads and a reversal of cuts implemented during the COVID-19 pandemic such as limited daily room cleaning.
The details I have read and the information I have found on the internet make their demands seem pretty bloody reasonable, with profits increasing for these hotels but this is not reflected for their workers.
Boy oh boy do they know how to protest, they are not rude, they are not violent, but they are loud. And they sing, have drums, and little stations at each entry to the hotel where they are handing out complaint forms and request for refund forms for those staying at the Hilton. How clever is that!
We were not staying there, and simply mentioned that when approached. I wish them well. Living in Hawaii is not cheap. Working in the hospitality industry is not easy. They deserve a fair wage, and I hope they get it. As they said “one job should be enough”.
Today we wake up early and I try and get the man inspired to go the gym, but he has really embraced the holiday lifestyle and lazes around in bed, where I serve him breakfast. Did I mention he has the worst life in the world? Just checking.
Today we are going to Kualoa Ranch to do the Jurassic Park tour. A LOT of movies are filmed in this part of Hawaii and some of the different props remain. We will be visiting these on a guided tour.
First we have to find the fucking tour bus. I have a confirmation email that has a GPS link to the bus location. This takes us to the Hilton Village reception, which just does not feel like the right place, Jason asks the tour desk manager and he mentions they usually pick up from the Village bus centre. A few minutes down the road.
We start walking and yes, it does seem a lot more likely that this is where we will meet them, except its terribly signposted and we go in circles a few times. Luckily, we started out early and by the time we finally find the bus, we are not the last on it! Barely.
Seriously if you are going to send out GPS coordinates for your tour guests, making sure they take them to the correct location seems a non brainer. GRUMP!
Since we are delayed on arriving, please remember that Jason’s motto is “on time is late” we get a seat at the very back. Its not that bad and only an hour drive, through Honolulu peak traffic, to the ranch. Honolulu peak traffic! I am still traumatized from our LA experience. This is nothing!!
The ranch is a 4,000 acre Private Nature Reserve as well as a working cattle ranch with cattle, horses and sheep. Located on the eastern shores of O’ahu, it varies from dense Hawaiian rainforest to broad open valleys.
I cannot, for the life of me, recall our guides name. It was long with a lot of vowels. And he was funny! I do love it when tour guides find their own jokes so funny that they have to take a minute to regroup. His jokes were pretty good though. And the fact that he must rattle them off every day and still gets a kick of it, is cool.
We are all grouped up and put into an F450 truck. I am informed of this fact by Jason, as he explains in more detail and my eyes glaze over.
Its an open air truck, but we really are not in any danger. The only wild animals they have here in Hawaii are mongoose, chickens, and pigs. Nothing too scary. But it also means there are no bears or bobcats. Damn it.
They do have a couple of types of lizards but they are not natives.
Off we go to see all the different movie sets. They have to absolutely know the parts of the movies off by heart. As they explain this is where Chris Pratt did this. And the dinosaur did that. I do not know the movie well enough to get the finer details, but the view and the props are great.
“Coming up on our left, there is a cave. Now you all remember the move Castaway with Tom Hanks, and he was living in a cave?”.
We all nod knowingly.
“Well this, is not that cave”.
Funny bastard.
I am sure he saved the best of his repertoire for this particular tour.
We stop at one stage to get a photo with Debbie the Dinosaur. A hand held kids toy that he manages to put into the photos with us.
There is a massive stump where we are standing. He goes on to explain that at the end of the first movie, when Sam Neil had run down the valley and escaped danger, he stands by a massive stump, and looks back at all the dinosaurs roaming in the field?
This is not that stump, that stump is now used elsewhere. This is, in fact, a stump double. Oh, it gets worse.
Films such as Jumanji, Kong Skull Island, Jurassic World, Jurassic World Fallen Kingdom, Jurassic Park, Pearl Harbor, Godzilla, and 50 First Dates have all been filmed at Kualoa.
Lots of movies with Duane Johnson, last joke, I promise.
“I got the chance to meet Duane Johnson when he was filming here. I accidentally tapped his butt, I knew then, I had hit Rock bottom”.
And yes, that was the rock bottom of his jokes.
There are also a lot of WWII remnants around the ranch that are still standing.
Three hours later we are back at the information centre and we decide to get some lunch here from the café. The queue was huge but they worked their way through it pretty quickly. We had some average food and were sat next to a really terribly behaved child and even worse behaved parent.
Our tour bus was going to be leaving at 345pm, which is 4 hours from now. There is nothing more we really want to do here, so decide to grab an Uber and head back to town.
We were a little sceptical that there would be an uber out this way, but BING, 3 minutes wait. Here came Deborah. A lovely woman with a hearing impairment which meant we yelled our conversation all the way back to town. As peak hour had now cleared, it was only 30 minutes.
Deborah did give us some interesting insight into the local life. Meth is the leading killer for 44-59 year olds, however the younger generation are being killed by opioids and fentanyl. Much the same as you see elsewhere.
Also, on a lighter note, she pointed out a great supermarket where we can get really great priced, and super fresh sashimi and sushi! We will be back there later.
Back at our accommodation its time for Jason to have a nap. It has been a very busy day! I think he is going to struggle with reality when we get back. Fair to say we both will.
Once he has recouped, we head down to the beach for a swim. The water is just divine. Shame there is so many people. After that we head to the pool for more swimming and lazing in the sun. It is warm but the sun is no where near as strong as that is NZ and AU. I can easily snooze in the sun and not get crispy.
There is a TJ Maxx shop I would like to go to, and it is the same direction as the supermarket that Deborah pointed out to us. Shopping at TJ Maxx is far more successful than the outlet market. Jason finds himself some new shorts. I have threatened to dispose of his current ones which are barely holding themselves together. I find a couple of skirts and a pair of pants. Even with the terrible exchange rate, they were a good deal.
As we line up to pay there is quite the odd display of people. The woman in front of us, must be having a bad day, year, life? She has a face like a bulldog chewing on a wasp. Not sure she has ever smiled in her life, as she approaches the cashier its quite clear she is not going to start now.
There is a beautiful young woman lined up with her friend. She is stunning, absolutely gorgeous body and pretty face. And possibly the worst dress sense I have witnessed on anyone over 7. The tightest and tiniest of lime green bike pants with little pockets at the back. A white crop singlet. A pair of bright red cowboy boots. This is the kind of thing you spend hours trying to convince your 5 year old she cannot wear to school. Yikes.
Shopping done, its off to the supermarket. This place is awesome, great selection of cheese, yes please, wine, beer, sashimi and ready made meals. This supermarket has a BAR in the middle of it. SO, you can drop off your significant other, do the groceries without interruption, and then pick them up on the way out. Or, if you find grocery shopping very taxing, you can stop for a quick wine on your way around the store.
We get supplies, including sushi for tonight, and make our way back to the accommodation.
Planned perfectly so we can watch the sunset, I will not get sick of this view! We laze around.
I love being on holiday. I cannot believe its nearly over.
16th October – Pearl Harbour
When we decided we were coming back to Hawaii, Pearl Harbour was on my must do list. Jason had seen it before when he was here in the 90s but I had never been.
Having visited Japan, Hiroshima it would be really interesting to see this memorial.
Jason’s job was to organise it and he did a pretty thorough job. You can sign up and do a tour, which will cost you around $150 USD per person. The thing is, a lot of the stuff you do in Pearl Harbour, is actually free (Don’t Book any Pearl Harbor Tours Until You Read This! (destinationwwii.com)).
So you are being ripped off. There are even shuttles that will take you from Waikiki to Pearl Harbour.
We opted to go early and try and beat the crowds. There were no shuttles that would get us there for the 700am slot we had booked, so we uber it. Again I think I should have booked a rental car. I feel very comfortable driving on this side of the road. Could have, should have, didn’t.
The Uber gets us there and we pick up our audio tour. They have outdone themselves with the technology. You are handed an iPhone and earphones (wired, lets not get carried away). Rather than an endless narration you can walk to certain areas, key in the number, and listen to the information.
The narration is done by Jamie Lee Curtis – now that was a pleasant surprise. Her father, Tony Curtis, served in WWII so was keen to be involved. She did an amazing job too. Thanks Jamie, you are one of my favs, as was your dad.
It was interesting to see all the information regarding the lead up to Pearl Harbour and the fact that it was nearly 4 years between the bombing and the atomic bomb being dropped. So often movies portray these two things happening in quick succession.
The incoming planes were picked up and reported, but the person who it was reported to had assumed these were American B52s returning from activity and told the radar engineer to ignore it. Oops.
Only three ships hit that day were not able to be repaired and sent back into service. The USS Arizona, the USS Oklahoma, and the USS Utah. Of the two still residing in Pearl Harbour, I assume the Arizona was selected as the monument as the majority of the casualties that day were on the Arizona and remain there now. With 900 of the 1177 men interned in the body of the ship. What I found interesting and extremely moving is that 45 men have since opted to be interred with their ship and their crew mates after their death. Their names are also listed on the memorial.
We have booked to go out to the USS Arizona Memorial. It is a short boat ride from the national park. The boats are captained by the Navy, whilst the park is run by the US Park Service. Very different uniforms.
We get on our scheduled boat and head out to the memorial. The total time, including return transport, is around 45 minutes. As you head out to the memorial the crew as that you treat it with respect and consider the many that died that day. Its pretty hard not to be subdued when you see the remainder of the USS Arizona peaking out of the water, the oil from the ship still bubbling to the surface and reading the names of those who died that day.
This memorial has been very well done, it straddles the shipwreck and allows for beautiful views of the surroundings without intruding.
As you look out from the memorial you can see a navy ship that is still in operation. Can you imagine working on that ship and looking out over the shipwrecks and the memorial every day. That would be very sobering.
We head back from the memorial and decide to go to the Bowfin Submarine Museum. We get to climb on and go inside a retired submarine, the USS Bowfin, its so cool. We found out that submariners are volunteers, you are not deployed to a submarine (thank fuck), and there is a height restriction of 6 feet 7 inches, which, as I stood in the submarine, seemed WAY too tall.
The spaces are tiny and its like the IKEA of marine vessels, every tiny little space has at least one purpose and many have three or four. For example, the officers dining quarters also doubled as a surgery if necessary. Where the missiles are stored, as they are fired there are bunk beds that can be lowered for use. The goal was to utilise all your missiles before heading back, ensuring everyone had their own bed. Normally it was 3 to a bed, as they all worked shifts, no one would need the bed at the same time. GROSS. Just GROSS.
Jason is not a fan of small spaces (massive understatement there) so he opted out and met me at the end of the submarine rather than climbing through the small doors and narrow corridors. I felt there was a lot more space than I had thought. But if you add the crew this would definitely be taken up.
On to the other exhibits. There was a Kaiten, this was horrifying. It’s a piloted missile. I will let that sink in for a bit. Someone climbs inside the missile and pilots it to the target. How do they get out, I hear you ask, well… they don’t. It is, essentially, a kamikaze mission. An honour to guide the missile to its target. They took this shit seriously! A Kaiten held approximately 1.5 tons of explosives, I consider that a non-survivable assignment, those that did it, considered it a privilege.
On the American side, they believed that the Japanese had a particular smell. So had a program to train dogs to bit those that smelt Japanese. How would they know, I hear you ask, well they trained these dogs on Japanese American soldiers. Clearly this program did not succeed and after a couple of years (yes, years) and many bites to these poor bastards, the program was scrapped.
We finish our tour, the experience was very different to the memorial at Hiroshima. I think the scale and the number of civilians impacted really made the difference. To a certain extent the majority of those killed here were in the military, those in Hiroshima were civilians, women, children, babies, and the graphic nature of the images were shocking.
Both are worth visiting. Both are valuable lessons in how cruel and stupid humans can be. There is no doubt you leave with a heavy feeling and a lot of introspection.
An uber is summoned and within seconds arrives. Turns out our good man had just dropped some people off when we placed our order.
Our driver is Taelegaopetesa, just call me Taele, and he is Samoan. He picks us as Kiwis straight away. His father is from American Samoa and his mother from Western Samoa, he visits there a lot. This guy is a laugh.
We have decided to get dropped off at Paia, the restaurant that had the massive queue outside, and explained where we are going and why. I say “I don’t like waiting for food”, Taele is fairly certain I am part Samoan. I agree!
It is our lucky day, there is only a slight queue at Paia and we are seated easily. The menu is pretty basic, they have their standard offerings, you select your fish, how you want it cooked, and the sides.
I ordered mine with Cajun seasoning which, in hindsight, was a mistake. It overpowered the fish. It was nicely cooked though. Jason got his grilled and that seemed to be a much better option. Not that I would know, because he did not share it with me! How rude.
We pick up a gelato as we head back to the hotel for another swim at the beach and at the pool. The rest of the afternoon is spent swimming, sunning, and reading.
Making the most of our downtime we sit on the balcony and watch the sunset, with snacks and sushi.
As we chill out there are a bunch of sirens that start up, not just one or two, but LOTS. We look out across the marina and see ambulances, fire engines, and the costal rescue boat, and helicopters all being deployed. There are people at the end of the pier shining their lights into the water. Something was going on and it was big. Two hours later when we were heading to bed, the lights were still flashing. Whoever is out there, we hope they are ok.
Tomorrow is our last day in Hawaii.
Jason has planned a hike up Diamond Head Point. I have been reading about it online and I am worried. My lungs are still gluggy, and I am still coughing. The description on the site uses words like steep, challenging, and I think, I am screwed.
17th October – Diamond Head and Relaxation
To do the Diamond Head trail you have to book and pay. It is a very popular hike and people flood to it. We have booked our timeframe between 700am and 800am. Probably a good idea to get it done before it gets too hot.
I get up and look out the balcony doors to see the rescue boat just returning. It is 600am. That is a very long night for those people.
I find the local news channel and it is good news. Really good news. The kayaker who went missing last night whilst out with a group, has been found at 500am this morning. Bloody hell, that would have been a long night for him and his family.
He is a young teenager, it seems as though he lost his paddle and started to drift. No one could hear him yell out. When the others got back to the marina they realised they were one person down and that’s when the EMS were sent out.
A helicopter saw him floating this morning and sent off a flare, a local fishing boat saw it, rush over and plucked him out of the water. Bloody hell.
I make breakfast, Jason has his in bed, btw how can he still get avocado on the sheets when he has the duvet pulled up. I am amazed.
We get prepped, lots of water, sun screen, hats, glasses, all good to go. Order our Uber (yes I should have rented a car…) and off we go.
Diamond Head is actually a crater. To get there you have to drive or walk through a tunnel that goes through the wall of the crater. The walk itself is up the side of the crater to the top of the wall.
Diamond Head was formed about 300,000 years ago during a single, explosive eruption that sent ash and fine particles into the air, which settled and cemented together into a rock called tuff, creating the crater. The crater is 350 acres in size and 760 feet (232 meters) high at its highest point. In Hawaiian, it’s called Lēʻahi, which means “brow of the tuna” due to its shape resembling a tuna’s dorsal fin.
Its only 730am and it is hot already, the sun is out and its beautiful. People are already coming down as we start the ascent. Despite my worst fears it is not as bad as I thought, and we make it to the top in just under 30 minutes, where the views are spectacular. You can see in every direction.
We regroup, guzzle down some water, and start our walk back down. Despite my concerns and freaking out I am so glad we did it.
As we get to the bottom we decide to walk back to town, its not that far and we can walk along the waterfront, probably pick up a gelato on the way, you know, we earned it.
The wind is not as evident today and this makes everything feel warmer, when we go for a swim at the beach it actually feels colder. Are we acclimatising. Yikes!
After another walk to Foodland for lunch supplies. No matter how well we try and plan things we seem to end up having lunch late. Thank goodness we are on holiday!
Its time for Jason’s nap and I need to get some stamps to send the last of the postcards. Walking around town, I am going to miss this place. No shopping, our bags, including our new one, is full!
We spend the afternoon on the balcony with a few drinks and snacks, discussing how amazing our trip has been. We are very lucky humans.
Hawaii is mourning our impending departure, this is evident by the cloudy sky and lack of visible sunset tonight, I get it, we will miss you too.
Tonight’s dinner is at another brewery Waikiki Brewing. We saw it when we were out for one of our many walks. It is nice and close to the accommodation and expectations are high. Turns out the food is average the beer is no better and we are quite disappointed. Maui Brewing is the place you want to go to. Learn from our mistake.
No point in dwelling on it, we wander back to our accommodation. Tomorrow we fly out. Our bags are packed, we are ready to go, the uber is ordered (yes I should have rented a car…).
The last night’s sleep in the very squishy and cozy bed. Our last night in the lovely accommodation with the spectacular view.
Good night!
18th October/ 19th October – Mahalo Hawaii, Kia Ora Auckland
We are up nice early, bags sorted, shower sorted, room sorted. We leave.
Head down to the Uber who is early. Wow, that does not happen often.
This means we are now early to the airport. Sweet, we drop off our bags, all of which are under the weight allowance – well done us. Through security, last time Jason will have to struggle and take his shoes off, and into the airport.
It is then I realise that I had two postcards I had forgotten to post. Most I had done the night before and sent straight away but these two I needed to send this morning. There is no post box in the airport.
And it turns out, there is no one willing to “take responsibility” or “take liability” for the posting of these cards. I try to explain that if they could post them at some stage that would be amazing, if they got lost, so be it. But no, no help, nothing.
Just to be clear they had stamps, addresses, everything. The only thing they didn’t have was a box to be posted into.
The cards were never sent, sorry Aira and Vincent.
We have breakfast in the United Lounge, never, ever, ever again. We only went in there because they are partners with Air NZ, eww. The food is unrecognisable and felt stale. We get fed on the plane, so we can wait.
Our flight is slightly delayed due to a medical emergency. Seems that someone getting off the plane had an issue, we see the paramedics taking him away. He is conscious so hopefully nothing serious.
I love the type of announcements you hear at an airport. Today’s winner was “please check your carry-on luggage for any firearms”.
We board and are greeted by the lovely Air New Zealand staff. It is so nice to be back on Air NZ and I tell them as much. They take such good care of you, genuinely engage in conversation and seem happy to be there. I think it helps that they have had 3 days in Honolulu before this flight.
Our flight time has been reduced to just over 8 hours, meaning with the delays we will arrive on time.
We settle back, watch movies, I write to you guys, and we land without issue in Auckland.
There is a 16 hour wait until our flight to Brisbane, rather than spend that time pacing the airport we have booked a night at the Pullman.
We land, get through customers, get our bags, get through biosecurity, and are checked into our room in 50 minutes. I love it when shit just works.
The time difference between Hawaii and Auckland is really manageable. 1 hour. Hawaii is actually 1 hour ahead a day behind. But our body clock cares little about days, only about hours and we feel pretty settled. It does mess with things though having left on a Friday morning and 9 hours later land on a Saturday afternoon.
We have dinner at the Pullman, Jason has the worlds smallest paua fritter. I had the raw fish which was lovely. Then our mains, the beef cheek for Jason (it was amazing, and almost worth the $50 price tag) and I order a cheese platter because I can’t think of anything else I really want to eat.
I cannot finish it and ask for a box to take it with me. I would happily eat a cheese plate for breakfast. But no, no takeaway boxes. I can take the whole plate apparently. I wish I had now. Fuckers, I would have put a shower cap over it and taken it in my carry-on bag.
I was just so gob smacked at the time I left it behind.
The Pullman is a great place to stay, mostly because of the location, it’s a 2-minute walk from the international terminal. The rooms are nice and very new. It could do with more experienced/polished staff, for a 5-star hotel, it felt like it was a training venue for those in hospitality. Very pleasant but a little clueless.
The bed was very comfortable, and they have amazing blackout curtains. We sleep well.
Tomorrow, we have our last flight home.
Its exciting to be going home and Jason cannot wait to see Harri, who he has demanded photos of almost daily. Thank you to Sian and Amanda for humouring him.
It means reality and getting back to work. The thought fills me with dread.
20th October – Homeward Bound
Reluctantly we drag ourselves out of bed, its time to check in for our final flight home. A 3 hour flight from Auckland to Brisbane. All going well we will land in AU at 10am local time.
Bags are, once again, packed and dragged over to the airport. At least the entire trip to the airport takes 2 minutes.
We check in, get through security, and make it to the Air NZ lounge in time for breakfast.
Our flight is on time and boarding went smoothly.
Going home is happening way too quickly, bringing a very abrupt end to this wonderful journey!
Filling out the declaration form, I realised we no longer had to fill out one section, as we are now Australian citizens! We were quite excited about this and did not tick the box.
We landed early, exit the plane quickly, our bags are waiting, the customs queue is super short. This is unreal.
Then, it happened.
NYCO: You have not filled out this section.
JKW: No, we are citizens.
NYCO: You have done the ceremony?
JKW: Yes we have the paperwork and the new chip installed.
NYCO: Ok, please take this to that area over there.
OH SHIT, should I not have joked about the chip installation, at least I didn’t joke that we had the obligatory lobotomy.
ANYCO: You are citizens?
JKW: Yes, but we only have NZ passports as they are still valid for a few more years.
ANYCO: Take a seat.
I mention to Jason, next time we check the fucking box.
10 minutes goes past, no one says anything to us.
Then we are told we can go. I am not sure what they looked up, or what we should have done. Needless to say, we will be ticking boxes in future.
The uber home was fast and finally, we are here. At home, with the dogs going nuts.
Our home has been beautifully looked after, there is nothing that we need to do other than unpack and do our washing.
We cannot thank Sian and Amanda enough for taking such amazing care of our home and our girls. We owe you so very much.
THE END
We have had such a wonderful time, seen amazing things, and spent time with some dear friends. We have had wonderful experiences and made memories that we will cherish forever.
I hope you have enjoyed being on this journey with us.
For now, mahalo and goodnight.
The Desert and La La Land – Now THAT’S a Contrast
9th October – Palm Desert, you are one hot, hot, hot temptress
This morning we say goodbye to San Francisco. We have had such a lovely time here, it was wonderful to see Shanthi and B. Wonderful to see Francisco. And just wonderful in general.
Like all big cities she has her issues, homelessness is a big problem here, the downtown being deserted by businesses, and inflation. Even with all that in mind I would come back in a heartbeat. Even Jason likes it, and that is saying something.
On the upside we are off to see Mark and Mari!!! We have been really excited about this. We have seen photos of their home and the ranch where they spend so much time, and now we finally get to visit.
We have not seen Mark and Mari since the visited us in Brisbane in 2019. I can hardly believe its been that long.
Mark has been sending pictures of the whiteboard with the number countdown on it # Days Until Jo and Jason arrive. Also, has been accumulating the essentials, such as wine, beer, and giant sized containers of M&Ms. God love them!! Mark and Mari that is, not M&Ms. Though, I mean, they are lovable too.
Uber is booked, we are packed and loaded with plenty of time to spare. Its early and traffic is very light, even as we arrive at the airport the terminal we are flying out of is brand new so lanes are plentiful.
We are flying with Alaska Airlines again, it has been a pretty good experience so far. Today we are flying FIRST CLASS. Don’t get excited. Think of First Class as premium economy. On the up side we don’t have to play for extra bags, and we get to board first. The flight to Palm Springs airport is only 90 minutes so not too much time to be pampered with food or anything.
As we start to load our bags I realise they are pretty heavy, actually they are too heavy. They should be 50 pounds each.
We have three bags, one filled with all our hiking and warm gear that we had in Alaska. We had both bought new hiking footwear as our trail shoes were not sufficient for some of the tracks in Alaska. Without thinking we had dumped it all in our suitcases, including some food snacks and other items we had left over.
As we are checking in, Candy, weighed the first and the second bags, both were slightly over 50 pounds. She mentioned that it would cost an extra $100 USD. Jason, lifts the last bag and confidently states that this one was lighter. He pops it on the scales and boom, it was heavier than the first two.
Candy: Oh come on guys!
Candy: You are flying first class, just get another suitcase.
JKW: Candy, you are my kind of girl, keep talking.
Jason: No, I can wear the heavy stuff and put it in my backpack.
Candy: It would make more sense to have another bag guys.
Candy is officially my favourite person. She waves the cost and gives Jason a glare. We will be getting another suitcase!
All checked in, we get through security, with shoes removed. Normally First Class has access to the lounge with the ticket, but as we are only going a short distance we would have to pay. Its not long until our flight so we opt to find a seat and hang out, eat our leftover pizza and berries.
The flight is on time, and we are on our way to a heat wave.
First Class was very nice. Comfy seats, lots of leg room. The best way to travel, a shame First Class on other airlines doesn’t cost the same.
Palm Springs is brown, just as you would expect a desert to look like really with the exception of rich neighbourhoods that have irrigation, where you will see patches of bright green grass and even swimming pools.
Off the plane and through the airport which is already outside. Its so weird. The roof is up high and the walls don’t go all the way to the top. Fans are going and its very relaxed. I like it! Our bags come out super fast, and just like that we are in Palm Springs.
You, like me, may be thinking Palm Springs? Palm Desert? Where are you? Good question. We land in Palm Springs, that is where the airport is. Mari and Mark live in Palm Desert but the airport is Palm Springs. There you go.
Mari is picking us up from the airport and here she comes in a big, white RAM. Jason’s dreams have just come true. He has been drooling over these massive trucks since we landed in Vancouver. I seed him the front seat so he can enjoy the full experience. The sound, the comfort, the height. He has so many questions, poor Mari.
The rest of the afternoon we hang at Mark and Mari’s house, waiting for Mark to get in from his appointment, and slowly but steadily winning over Aurora their dog. She was not having a bar of us when we first arrived. We were told, in no uncertain terms, that we were not trusted. But we had treats, and patience, and an absolutely NEED to make her LOVE ME!!!
Sure enough with the right amount of treats, sweet talking, and gentle pats, we make friends. She is such a sweet girl. For the rest of our time together we are now one of her team, to be watched, and included, and, of course, talked back to.
Mark arrives and its time to hit the road to the ranch. I have seen this place on many of their Facebook posts, but there’s nothing like seeing it in person. Just stunning and remote.
We are staying at Garner Ranch, a historic property located in the scenic Garner Valley, near Idyllwild in California. The ranch was originally established in 1905 when Robert F. Garner purchased 1,700 acres of land. Some of the original buildings still stand and are being used. Garner Ranch has been featured in several movies and TV shows due to its stunning natural beauty,
It is also an amazing backdrop for movies and TV shows and can be seen in The Big Valley, The Gene Autry Show, The Rifleman, The Lone Ranger (with Johnny Depp, I have breathed the same air as my man Johnny), The Quick and the Dead, to name just a few. There are a load more but I cannot remember them (Garner Ranch (moviesites.org)).
Ted and Meg own the property. Meg is Meg Garner, yep from the original family! We got to meet Ted and he is a wealth of knowledge about the area, the ranch, the family history, and the history of the indigenous people who lived here. The area was originally inhabited by the Cahuilla Indians, who followed ancestral trails from the desert heat of the Coachella Valley to the cooler climates of the San Jacinto Mountains. They used the California fan palm for food, clothing, and shelter. There is a large collection of grinding rocks that have been found and collected – they are right by the front door and you can see them every time you enter the property. How amazing.
These rocks were used by the Cahuilla people to grind grain for food.
Because we are up high it is not as hot as Palm Desert. We are sitting at around 5000 feet above sea level. The temperature up here in the high 20s and low 30s, but there is a really nice breeze going on, so it feels very comfortable.
Down in the valley it was 40 plus when we left. This is much more comfortable. It is very dry though. Quite different to Brisbane heat.
You can book to stay in one of the original homes on the ranch and I HIGHLY recommend you book this if you are in the look for a stunning, remote, historic location with accommodation that has everything you need ((3) Facebook and About Garner Ranch – Garner RanchGarner Ranch | The Best of Southern California West | Mountain Center, CA | Established 1905).
We unpack the truck and sit on the veranda, sipping drinks, eating snacks, and catching up. I cannot even begin to tell you how wonderful it is to be here with Mark and Mari. Its like a soothing balm to the chaos of our trip.
Tonight we are heading into Idyllwyld for dinner. There is a brewery there, yes the theme continues, and the menu looks pretty good. We get there, park up, only to be told that they are not serving food tonight. OH!
They offer another option called Gastrognome, just a wee bit up the road, we should try there. This place is also shut – sigh.
We settle on Fratello’s Restaurant, an Italian restaurant run by a local Mexican family… yup (Home | fratellosidyllwild). This place is overrun, there is not enough staff to handle the number of people that are dining here, but bloody hell they are giving it a good go. Dashing about like mad people, and doing it all with good humour.
A couple of lessons we learnt this evening. A “split bottle” means a half bottle. Oh good to know. The other is the Half Pour, which is a small glass of beer. Huh. Now we know.
Apparently they are one staff member down after he was, rumoured!!!!, to have been taken to the train station. Enough said.
The server is doing an amazing job and we are really appreciative of the fact they took us in, the food is good and the wine is cold. What more can we ask for?
According to the entitled, whinging, stuck up, prats that are sitting at the next table. You can ask for so much more, and you do. Then when you get it you complain about it. Wankers.
We enjoy our food, very much, and then climb back into the truck to head home. We have had a busy day, Aurora (the lovely girl) has been so good. Curled up under the table and not begging for food, she can teach a lot of dogs a lot of manners.
As we pull up to the gate Mari and I see a creature moving in the headlights. Is it a rabbit, a hare, NO!!!! IT’S A BOB CAT. Add that to the list of creatures we have seen on this trip. How bloody fabulous.
We go to our respective accommodation and turn in for the night.
What a great day.
10th October – Boom, Boom Baby
As is expected in the desert it got quite cold overnight, and we wake up to a very brisk morning. Jason makes a coffee and heads outside to look at the view.
Mark and I sit at the table and have a chat, I notice something out of the corner of my eye. It is the funny Aurora bouncing up and down at the door, trying to get my attention. I get up and open the door thinking she wants to come inside, but she runs up the path, looks back and keeps going.
I think she is just being a goof so go back inside and keep chatting. Next minute, the crazy girl is back, bounce, bounce, I open the door and she runs in, runs out, and up the path. OH she wants us to come with her. All her peeps need to be in the same place. So, we do. I put on another couple of layers and head to the veranda with the others. Aurora is much happier now, she goes back to sniffing out goffers.
We have a lovely breakfast prepared by Chef Mark. We need to get our energy levels up, today we are doing something special. We are spending the morning with an NRA instructor, trying out some different weapons.
Jason is very excited.
Tracy, our instructor, turns up at 0900 hours. I get the impression he is never late. He is efficient, matter of fact, polite, and to the point. I am a little nervous. Its been a long time since I have fired a weapon and I feel the pressure rising.
We set up camp a few hundred metres into the property, away from animals and people.
Jason and Tracy start talking and exchanging stories. Oh yeah, this is Jason’s happy place.
We start of with a 9mm Glock. Jason and I have our own targets and Tracy gives us the instruction to start. He gives me advice on how to hold the gun to get the best result.
I find the Glock very heavy and feel like I don’t have good control over it. Regardless I still manager to hit the target. The guy won’t be making a comeback but it was not a quick death. Jason’s target, on the other hand, never stood a chance. The grouping was as impressive as you would imagine. Tracy and Jason continue to chat.
After firing a 9 mil I get an appreciation of the damage this gun can do. Until you have fired one you really can’t understand the power. It’s a killing device, no doubt about it.
Jason fires around 100 rounds and continues to rock it. After about 70 or so, Tracy hands me a 22 pistol. This is my bag. I love it. So much lighter and I feel more comfortable and confident. In Switzerland I did a lot of small bore target shooting with a 22 rifle.
Next on the list is the shotgun, there are two different types we are firing here.
One was as semi automatic shotgun on an AK47 platform. I.e. it looks like an AK47, king of works like one, but it’s a shotgun.
The second was a pump action shotgun that held 14 rounds. There was no spring in this sucker and it packed a punch.
For the shotguns we did not use our targets, because it would obliterate them, instead we aim at pinecones. Those fuckers are dangerous and need to be brought under control.
Jason, as always, has it nailed. There are no pinecones safe around him and the shotgun. He starts with the pump action first and looks terrifying, and a tad sexy, if I am to be honest.
I am trying out the semi-automatic shotgun, this has a spring load, so the kick back is not bad. All the same I keep that baby as close as a lovely bottle of cold rose on a hot summer’s day.
I would like to think that I eliminated my share of pinecones, but the truth is I struggled to control the fucker.
If I thought that was hard, Tracy then handed me the pump action. After a few rounds I had to pause and regroup. That shit was so intense. No matter how tight I hugged it I could feel it bucking into my shoulder. Thank god I had shot large weapons before, otherwise I would not have held it so tight and my shoulder would have paid the price.
At this point my Apple Watch gives me a warning about ambient noise. NO SHIT!
Jason continues to be magic! Grinning from ear to ear he tries out different weapons and he and Tracy continue to bond.
Last, and possibly least, we go back to the 22 pistol. I have found my groove. I nail my target and finally start shooting where I want it to go. I am not proud of my efforts, but I am also not embarrassed. Both Ted and Tracy tell me I did very well. Sweet talkers!
What a wonderful way to spend the morning. An expert guiding you in their expertise. Everyone has an opinion on gun control and how it works or doesn’t. The USA is vastly different from NZ and AU, I have been around weapons for a long time and have my own opinion on what works, regardless, we loved the experience. Especially Jason who found a kindred spirit when it comes to weapons and being able to talk through the different styles. Thank you Mark and Mari for arranging this. It was amazing and we had a great time.
I received a couple of injuries, yes, of course I did, a blister from a rogue 9mm shell that went down my top! That sucker hurt. And a bruise to my shoulder from the kickback. Not bad, but it looks amazing.
Though neither of these things become evident until a day or two later. I feel better when Jason admits to having a bruise too!
After the adventure we hang out and decide it is time to head to lunch. We are trying the Idyllwild Brewpub (Idyllwild Brewpub) again, after last night’s disappointment we are a little concerned they may not be serving, but sure enough lunch is ON.
And what a lovely lunch it is. The food is very tasty, Jason really loves the beer flight. Aurora has a nice outing with some pats from strangers (plus a couple of little treats under the table). And we all enjoy our meals. It was well worth the effort of coming back.
After lunch Jason and I go for a walk about Idyllwild, it is a beautiful and very small town. We see people eating ice cream and decide we need one. I ask one of them where they got it, I swear it should not have been this hard, it took all 5 people in her group to tell me it was just around the next corner. Bless.
Mari, Mark, and Aurora sit in the shade whilst we wander. We find ice cream and head back to meet them.
Back at the ranch everyone has a nap, even I rested for a bit. Yeah, a belly full of food does that for ya.
Our plans for this evening, hang out, look at the horizon, watch the sunset, eat, sleep. The hardship of doing nothing. I love this. And yes, I find it VERY hard to do nothing.
After our nap Jason and I go out for a walk, there must be some paths, we were unable to find them. After some serious thought we determine that whacking our way through unchartered, for us, territory in rattle snake country would be a dumb idea. We stick to the open areas and look for creatures – none seen.
As we head back to the accommodation Jason spots Ted pottering in the front yard and I lose them. They spend the next hour chatting and Jason learns how to trap goffers. I am sure this will come in handy in the future.
We have had such a lazy day, its hard to work up an appetite but Mari had cooked a beautiful chilli, and we have to try it. I am so pleased we did it was great!!!! With sour cream and corn bread, drool. Not great for the waistline but amazing for the tastebuds.
And just like that, the day is done. We wish our amazing hosts goodnight and fall asleep.
I am still sick, so Jason has, rudely/wisely, opted to sleep in another room as I continue to cough and splutter.
Tonight is much colder than last night; I curl up under the covers and sleep. I really, really love this place.
Thank you Mark and Mari for bringing us here.
11th October – Goodbye Calm Hello Chaos
After a wonderful night’s sleep our amazing hosts get up super early to drive us back down to the “mainland” to meet our transfer to LA.
It is very early and boy, is it cold. We all load into massive RAM with Aurora supervising the men in the back we head down from the mountains as the sun comes up.
I feel so sad.
I cannot thank you Mark and Mari enough for their kindness and hospitality. Not only sharing the ranch with us, feeding, and entertaining us, but supplying enough sugar in the form of MASSIVE jars of M&Ms to help us through the rest of our trip.
I booked Day Trip (Daytrip: Private Car Transfers with Sightseeing) as the transfer to LA. I looked into other options, train, plane, etc, but all were very convoluted. A quick Bing search turned up Day Trip. It’s a really great idea. In this instance we used them as a transfer service, if you are so inclined you can stop off and sightsee on the way and the price will vary accordingly. It is a 2 hour trip to Anaheim and whilst Mark and Mari offered to drive us, that would have pushed the friendship too far.
Today we travel to Anaheim and plan to spend the day sightseeing around LA.
Our driver drops us at Hilton Anaheim, between the chaos of the LA traffic and the chaos of all the people checking in here, we know we are no longer in Kansas, Toto. The peacefulness of the ranch is a distant memory, now we do battle with queues.
We are too early to check in, instead we store our bags and have breakfast at the hotel, before heading into the city.
The idea is to find the Hop On/Hop Off bus, I really want to see the La Brea Tar Pits. I have heard about them for ages, and never seen them. La Brea recently featured on the show Dirty Jobs where they continue to excavate bones of saber tooth cats**, mammoths and mastodons. How cool is that!
An issue becomes very evident, getting from Anaheim to anywhere is a fucking pain. No easy public transport, all tours for the day have already departed, instead we have to book an Uber. I do some calculations and find the closest HOHO bus stop will be in Little Tokyo. The Uber is booked and an Angel arrives.
His name is Angel. And he was fabulous. Gave us the run down of LA, and there is a very important game of baseball on today. It is the final game to go through to the next round of the playoffs. The LA Dodgers and San Diego Padres are currently sitting at 2 each, and it’s a best of 5. Heavy stakes indeed. This means around 70,000 people will be converging on Dodgers stadium and we do not want to be caught up in that traffic. Best if we leave town around 300pm.
We arrive in Little Tokyo and now we need to find the bus stop. Which is not as easy as you would hope. As they don’t seem to believe in signage of any description. Luckily my eagle eyed man spots the bus coming and we make it in time. I was worried we would miss it, that was senseless. As is the way with most HOHO buses it does not go very far very fast.
The tour starts and the automated narration tells us about the attractions we are passing. I have been to LA a few times and I don’t think it is getting any better. In fact I think it has got louder, dirtier, and harder to get around. My thinking was underscored when I was staring out the window, and observed a homeless chap shitting into a plastic bag. He was not down an alleyway or hidden behind a bush. Just between his cart and a small fence on the sidewalk.
Welcome to LA!
This display inspired me to not look at the passing scenery too closely. The natives are wild.
We finish the blue route and need to swap to the red in order to get to the Brea Tar Pits. Time was on our side and we managed to jump on the waiting bus that was due to depart in 10 minutes. Amazing.
Of course, things are never that smooth. A gaggle of women turn up and are in two minds, actually I would say 5 minds regarding whether they would get on the bus. The bus driver, who previously spent 5 seconds or less interacting with passengers as they boarded, and was very curt with us all. Suddenly loses his spine and we sit, we wait, they discuss, one pops off to go to the toilet, the bus does not move.
The driver asks his supervisor, do I go or do I wait. A few of us start offering our views on the matter, we are now 20 minutes after our expected departure time. The woman who had gone to the bathroom cannot be seen, the other four are only halfway through purchasing their tickets.
Finally the gaggle board the bus and we go.
We see the usual sites, Hollywood sign (from a distance), Beverly Hills, Viper Club, I remember having done this tour previously, nothing has changed, well… that is to say, nothing has improved. Rodeo Drive. Blah, blah. If you have not been to Los Angeles, Hollywood, Beverly Hills, its kind of interesting and you see a lot of sights you would have seen in the movies, otherwise, its another big city, with big city problems, and without a lot of charm. My personal opinion.
Eventually we make it to stop 10, this is us La Brea Tar Pits. We get off and walk the 10 minutes to the park, most of which is free to walk around. How cool is that. You can see where they have found many of the artefacts. You can overlook where they are currently excavating and see them working through the debris and cleaning off bones. It is really interesting.
If you are in LA and you like this sort of thing, you really have to go! There are many statues of the animals they have uncovered here. We walk the park and then pay to go into the museum proper. It is not overly expensive and there is a lot to see, they also have experts walking around with items you can touch as you ask questions about them.
The tar pits have been a treasure trove of fossils, preserving the remains of animals and plants that lived in the area over 10,000 years ago. Some of the discoveries include mammoths, saber-toothed cats**, dire wolves, and ancient plants (yawn, more cats please).
** If, like me, you are thinking saber-tooth cats? I thought they were called saber-tooth tigers?? Well, here comes today’s lesson. Cats is the more accurate term because these prehistoric pusses, are not directly related to modern tigers or any other big cats we know today. They belong to a subfamily called Machairodontinae. So, calling them “saber-tooth tigers” is a bit of a misnomer—they’re more like distant, ancient cousins with some seriously sharp dental flair. Phew, that is a lot
Its really cool to stand and watch, because the tar pits are still active, with tar bubbling up from the ground, and ongoing excavations continue to uncover new fossils.
After an hour or so its time to get an Uber and head back to the hotel. Our room is ready and we are ready to relax. The worst case scenario has happened and it will take 2 hours in an Uber to get there – to be clear, it is 59kms. Meaning we are traveling 30km per hour. There are options to take buses and a train, but that would take 2.5 hours and there is a high likelihood that we would get lost! We commit to the $106 fare and get into the Uber. It is also important to note that we have not eaten since breakfast, it is hot, gross, late in the afternoon, and we are over it. This has probably tainted my view of LA a little as we sit in the car and spend 2 hours travelling only 59kms. I was in a foul, hangry mood!
I will never complain about Brisbane traffic again. Ok, we all know that is a lie, but it will add some perspective to situations.
We finally get to our hotel at 430pm. Hungry, disgruntled, tired. We collect our luggage, though the lovely man says he will send it up to our room. I am thrilled with that.
At the Hilton you can do remote check in, all on your phone. Including a digital key. Once your room is ready the send the details to your phone. Using the Hilton Honors App you will be sent a digital key. This key gives you access to the lifts and your room. You don’t need to set foot near the reception desk. Well that is the theory.
We get in the lift and immediately have issues getting the digital key to work. Luckily someone swipes our floor for us. Accessing the room works though, and its pretty amazing. You don’t have to worry about leaving your key in the room, or putting it next to your phone and accidentally wiping it. Instead it is all on your phone, you can share with others too. So if Jason was inclined to go anywhere without me, he could have the app and the key on his phone too!
I love the theory, and when it works it is amazing. When it doesn’t, it’s a royal pain in the ass. I did figure out that you need to add the key to your wallet in order for it to work in the lift. Lesson learnt.
Anyway, we make it to our room and it is fucking massive. It is about four times the size of the room we lived in on the boat. There is a kitchenette, with the only useful thing being a fridge. You don’t get any cutlery or cups.
The first thing I do is scan the QR code and order some drinks. STAT!
Our bags arrive in record time and I unpack the snacks I had in the suitcases. Some cheese, crackers, M&Ms (thank you Mark and Mari – god bless you and your amazing planning).
Moments later the drinks arrive. Cheese, snacks, wine, beer, a seat and some quiet. It feels magical. I feel like we have wasted a full day.
We spent 5 hours in varying cars. To get to Anaheim, to get to the HOHO bus, to get back to the hotel. I am not sure if there could have been another way. Maybe extending the Day Trip booking or something. One thing is sure, we will not be going back to LA anytime soon. Unless I am receiving some sort of award – I am sure that is going to happen right?
Once we have eaten and have calmed down, I start scanning places to eat. We both really want Mexican food but the place we want to eat at does not have a booking until the seriously adult time of 800pm. Noooooooooooooooooooooo thank you. I book that for tomorrow night and decide that tonight we shall do something quite quirky.
Hello Bubba Gump Shrimp company.
Yep, all based on the Forrest Gump movie. We walk there, it’s only 15 minutes and its nice to be on the move, through Anaheim and arrive.
We are seated, given menus, and promptly forgotten. Man are they poking the bear or what!!! They have no idea the kind of day we just had. Jason heads to the people who seated us and enquires whether we need to order at the bar.
I was not privy to the conversation, but apparently, they asked if we seated ourselves. No, we did not seat ourselves and fetch our menus from behind the bar (I could smell the sarcasm dripping off him when he returned). Oh no, have I made another error in judgement by coming here?? It this going to be another cluster fuck?
It all gets sorted, the server comes out, apologises that he did not see us and promptly takes our order.
There are so many options here, and the food is good. We both enjoy our meals, the cocktails are great. Jason’s beer is cold and refilled quickly.
Calm overtakes us. We walk back to our mansion sized hotel room.
Tomorrow we wade into the breach, we head to Disneyland.
12th October – Disneymadness
We have a bit of a sleep in, comparatively speaking. Disneyland opens at 800am, due to it being October and Halloween is a big deal – apparently.
Up and ready, we leave the hotel at 730am to walk there. Along with hundreds of other people. There were not this many humans around last night when we went for dinner, but suddenly they have all come out of nowhere. Wearing mouse ears and walking like the undead.
If the undead walk 4 abreast and have no consideration for anyone else on the sidewalk.
The queues to get in are insane. We are early but some of these people must have been queued up since 700am. We are only really interested in the Star Wars section and rides. Our goal is to do all three rides, go to the cantina, and then GTFO.
I purchased the lightening track pass and it paid dividends. Initially when we lined up for the first ride it was 15 minutes within an hour it was 75 minutes and kept climbing. The longest we waited was 10 minutes and we had a great time.
Probably the best one was the Millenium Falcon, smugglers run. Simply for the two young Japanese women who were on the ride with us. They were just hilarious! Squealing and apologising for crashing the Falcon. OMG, how much fun. They were delightful and the ride was amazing.
After 5 hours we call it a day. Jason has done exceptionally well with all the people and we have had a wonderful time.
I had wanted to get the grandies a set of Mickey Mouse ears for something a little different, but bloody hell they know how to charge. A standard set of ears, without the sequins and sparkles that some have, $35!!! For a headband with mouse shaped ears glued onto them. Well, I love my grandgirls. All of them are special and beautiful. But they did not get any mouse ears.
We considered eating at Disneyland but decided we would like decent food without extravagant prices, and we stumbled across the Cheesecake Factory. I have heard so much about this place, we have it in Australia but it really is just for cakes. Not the endless pages and pages of salads, burgers, and other dishes. They even have a skinny menu if you want food with less calories. Very thoughtful.
Lunch was tasty and we feel energised to face the walk and the struggle of shopping. We walk the 5km to the shopping centre, starting from the beautifully manicured area of Disney Anaheim, we walk through many different neighbourhoods and they are not all Disney fantasy. Many are dilapidated and worn, but most appear to be lovingly cared for by their residents. With little gardens and ornaments placed amongst the dust.
We make it to the mall. The day has been so long already Jason is out of patience. We spend some time going in and out of shops and investing in our new suitcase. Thank you very much Candy! Unlike the outlet malls in Australia this one has no luggage stores, only a Nordstrom Off the Rack. But it does the trick, suitcase in hand, we Uber back to the hotel and chill out.
It’s our last night in LA, we have dinner plans, and we need to readjust our suitcases before check in tomorrow.
Tonight’s dinner is at Puesto, we could not get in last night but held a place for this evening. We are both really excited, we have been craving Mexican food and this restaurant gets great reviews.
It is very close to our hotel and when we turn up it is pumping. It looks like every table is full, with people lined up to get in. Luckily we have a booking, so we are shown over to our table.
The service is very attentive and within a heartbeat of time we have our drinks and are trying to decide what we want. Guacamole, goes without saying, you have got to. And when the guacamole comes out it is fantastic. There is something different in there, it takes a while to figure it out. But I am not going to tell you guys! I am going to try it at home and see if it makes the difference. Excited.
The rest of the food is great. The flavours are amazing. The prices are representative of the food, so its not cheap. But I would highly recommend dining here (Puesto Anaheim | Hours & Location (eatpuesto.com)).
The only downside, and this is showing our age big time, is the ambience, it is loud. All those young folks will love it.
We waddle our way back to the hotel and start preparing for our departure tomorrow. But there is something really weird happening, the floors in our kitchen and bathroom are wet and there is water leaking out of the vanity…
This is not good. I am super freaked out about slipping and injuring my hamstring again, so this makes me nervous and I am tip toeing about. So I ring reception and tell them about the new water feature. I am not optimistic that we will get any attention, boy was I wrong.
Within 30 minutes we had a plumber in our room. In an hour he figured out what the issue was, organised replacement parts, fixed the leak and mopped up the floors. We are amazed at the level of service here. We get to bed a little later than we had hoped, but tonight was a lovely way to end out time in LA.
My desire to stay away from LA has not ebbed, but I enjoyed parts of our experience and we are so lucky to have these problems.
Tomorrow is the start of the last leg of our journey. I can’t believe four weeks have gone by so quickly.
Palm Desert
Los Angeles
Goodbye Cruising, Hello San Fran
6th October – Victoria, Again
Another smooth night at sea and we wake up to a beautiful sunny day.
I am most definitely sick, damn it. Coughing up a lung but doing my best not to share it around and keep all germs to myself.
We will be docking in Victoria this afternoon so that gives us the day to go to the gym, have breakfast, and start packing.
The cruise line offers an amazing service, I hope it is as good as they say, where they will work with the airline to ensure our bags are picked up from the ship, transferred to the airport, and checked in. We do not need to collect them as we disembark, instead we just walk off, get on the bus and head to the airport.
Not only that, but they will get our boarding passes sorted too. Is this too good to be true?
The only downside, which is insignificant at best, we have to get our bags packed and ready to go tonight. Which means we will need to have an overnight bag for tomorrow’s clothes and any toiletries that we can take onboard a plane.
In AU and NZ you can take liquids of any size on a domestic flight, that is not true in the US or Canada. You have to have travel size.
We get most of our luggage sorted and will finalise it when we get back from Victoria.
As is the norm now, we watch whales and porpoises as we workout at the gym. Everyone is watching and calling out when they see anything.
We also have wine and chocolate pairing today, so that will be fun. We head up to Le Bistro, where these are held, and end up sitting with Tony and Jill. Jill introduces herself and Tony, it seems like Tony is not interested – does not really look at us when we say hi.
Turns out he is legally blind. DUH. Not 100%, he suffers from molecular degeneration and has, over time, steadily lost his eyesight. How awful!
The real kicker is that he had just finished studying as a sommelier – passed all his exams and did very well. Then his sight started to go, part of being a sommelier is exploring the colour and depth of the wine, something he can no longer see.
However, it does not impact his ability to smell, taste, and describe the wine. We were so lucky to be sitting with them.
Mario led the wine pairing experience, and whilst I prefer a wine and cheese, I did enjoy the wine and chocolate. Jason opted not to have the wine, ordered a beer and simply enjoyed the chocolate instead 😊
Tony says I have an educated palate for wine, you see all this “study” pays off!!!!
There is another blind wine tasting after this, but Tony feels he would have an unfair advantage as he already has the blind part covered.
Jill recommended that I order the chianti off the wine menu. They even had the part number memorised – I like these people.
We opt not to stay for the second tasting, Jason has been very patient and is bored.
We head off for a late lunch where we watch whales out the window. I try the chianti and Jill was right. It is very, very tasty.
Filling in time until we dock I spend time listening to Jason sleep as I write a bit of the blog and go through the hundreds of photos. Finally, it is time to get off the ship.
There was an excursion we had signed up for, but as seems to be the theme, it was cancelled and we opt to do our own thing.
Walking to Fisherman’s Wharf and catching a pickle boat into downtown Victoria. As usual the captain was friendly and chatty. He is from England so there was a lot of rugby talk.
Once we land in downtown we head off for a walk of the city. I have booked us at Finn’s for dinner again, we enjoyed the food so much last time we figured, why chance it. Lets go with what we know.
When we were last here, we did not make it to Chinatown, so we do some exploring on the way to the brewery Jason has selected for today. This brewery is Herald Street Brew Works (Herald Street Brew Works), the beers are quite different and unique, not something that Jason looks for in a beer. But he manages to force down a couple. Actually he admits they were not too bad.
It is Sunday evening in Victoria so there is not a lot going on, its time to head off for dinner and watch the sunset – Victoria, you did it again.
Finn’s Seafood Chops Finn’s Seafood Restaurant | Downtown Victoria, BC Overlooking the Harbour (finnsvictoria.com) did not disappoint. We enjoyed the meal and the service was very good. Though I confused the server by wanting to use up all my Canadian dollars and settle the balance with a card. We did get there in the end.
With plenty of time to walk back to the ship for a night cap before we finish our packing and say goodbye to our bags, hopefully not permanently.
We leave Victoria at midnight and arrive in Seattle at 600am. It really isn’t that far, when we did this in the ferry it took 2.45 hours. I guess they want to lull us to sleep with the gentle sway of slow engines 😊
7th October – Goodbye Ship, Goodbye Seattle, Hello San Fran you goddess
We had a slow start to the day. I did not feel like breakfast and Jason didn’t want to go on his own, instead we got ourselves organised.
As expected our bags disappeared from outside our room last night and have, hopefully, been dispatched to the airport to get on our flight.
We shower, check, double check, and triple check our room. Then wait for our disembark time which is approximately 800am, could be earlier, could be later. You just won’t know.
The announcements are not being broadcast to our room either, so we have to prop our door open to find out if we are being summoned.
At 730am we get our call, the red group. We gather our things, farewell our room and follow the flow of people off the ship.
Goodbye Norwegian Sun, goodbye lovely staff, goodbye average food.
We are herded onto a bus and make way to the airport. So far everything is going to plan, this feels strange.
Seattle Airport is insane busy, so many people, so many different lines, and signs. There are also a lot of people telling you where you need to go, which is awesome. We join one of the many, long security lines and wait until it is out turn.
You have to take your shoes off here, at all airports we have been to so far. I have no issue, but poor Jason can barely reach his shoes on a good day when he is sitting down, let alone when he is standing in a line with nothing to lean on.
Its interesting to watch.
Through security and head to the Alaska Airline Lounge, we are not members but I know you can pay to go in, and we have 4.5 hours until our flight.
As per Jason’s run sheet we check the gate on our boarding pass, we find the gate, and do the usual recon. Make sure we have eyes on the gate, know the distance, and can make it in the appropriate period of time.
In order to get to the right place we need to walk down the hallway, down the stairs, and onto a train that will take us to the correct wing of the airport. Ummm, ok. So we head over to the N wing, because our gate is N10.
It all checks out, the gate on the boarding pass, N10, is only 5 minutes walk from the lounge. I was a bit surprised that a gate was on the boarding pass, as it was issued last night. But feeling like shit, I didn’t even raise my concerns.
We go into the lounge and it is very comfortable. There are these amazing seats where you can lie back and watch all the planes take off. Jason was in his happy place! Whilst he plane spotted, and napped, I wrote some and snacked. The breakfast was pretty interesting, you could make your own breakfast burrito! Oh yeah baby, lock that in, thank you.
There is also a pancake machine and a bar. I can spend 4.5 hours here, no problem.
For lunch there are still burritos you can make yourself, and also macaroni and white cheese. Seriously, with the white cheese again!
I sit and write, Jason sits and watches, and time clicks by.
It is 40 minutes before we are due to board and Jason, my wonderfully neurotic human, decides he needs to double check the gate. And thank goodness he did.
Turns out the little voice in my head was right. The gate on our boarding pass was made up. We are actually boarding from an S gate. And in order to get to an S gate we have to take 3 trains.
From N we need to go to A, to go to C, and from C to S. Easy right. It sounds far more difficult than it was. But we are out of synch and Jason is not happy, he is freaking out and we have to leave the lounge NOW.
We get the first train, then the next, and then the last. We are in the right place in less than 10 minutes. He is happy now. Only another 30 minutes until we board. Sigh.
Some interesting observations. Whilst waiting to board I hear a flight, destination Chicago, advising they have overbooked the flight. They are looking for volunteers who do not need to travel today, they will receive a credit and fly at a different time today. Who honestly books a flight with the expectation that they may or may not need to travel, I mean other than anyone flying with Jetstar? There was a queue of people lining up for the offer, the compensation must be sufficient.
Almost every airline was warning that flights were fully booked and offering to check in larger carry-on items to ensure everyone had room. I guess the flight industry is booming after all.
As much as I would like to offer up my carry on, it contains all the items you are not allowed to check in.
The flight boards on time and we are off. Well done to the neurotic man next to me and his endless need to triple check everything.
One of our main purposes for going to San Francisco is to see Shanthi, Beatrice, and Ash. It has been 8 years since we last saw them in NZ. I cannot believe 8 years has gone so fast.
Unfortunately for us, Ash is in Geneva, Switzerland so we won’t get to see her.
The wonderful Shanthi has offered to pick us up from the airport, so that saves any drama regarding getting to our hotel. I am still a little nervous about our bags that I have not set eyes on since the previous evening.
Standing at the baggage carousel we wait, and wait, and BOOM! They start to arrive! One by one the bags appear and we are overjoyed. Who would have thought, they cannot organise an excursion but they can get our bags off the shp, through customs, on a bus, checked onto a plane, and delivered to the correct airport. Happy, happy days.
We pile into Shanthi’s car and head to the hotel, a quick check in and dump the bags. Shanthi has kindly agreed to let us use her laundry. Clean underwear, yay!
The night is lovely, we hang with Shanthi, B, Spot the Cat, and their two lovely pups, June and Rocky. I get my puppy fill giving lots of pats and receiving a LOT of kisses. A lovely home cooked meal, wonderful conversation, puppies, and good wine. What more can you ask for.
A massive thank you to Shanthi and B for the very enjoyable evening and clean clothes.
Now, the debate, getting home. I have been hearing about Weymo for ages and I am really excited to try it, especially seeing their cars all over San Francisco. Jason is not keen, seriously not keen, however with enough nagging and plying of beer he gives in!
A weymo is ordered and we wait. I don’t have a phone number that will let me set up my own account so Shanthi orders one for us. The lights on the top show your initials to indicate this is your car, plus you have to use the app to unlock the doors before you get in.
The doors are unlocked, we get in, and, the very funny Bea states “Mom, you are sending them to die”.
The drive is very comfortable, yes a bit creepy and weird watching the steering wheel turn unassisted, the break and accelerator compress.
There is a console where you can change the music channel, I thought Jason was going to expire when I started playing with this! “DON’T!!!” I found this amusing, I am a bad wife.
But its like a lift home and a show. By the end of it Jason is sold, agrees its cool and we hope to experience it again.
Back at our hotel, The Harbour Court Hotel (Harbor Court Hotel | San Francisco Hotels | Official Site), which is right by the Bay Bridge. It is a lovely hotel, the exterior is red brick, and the interior has been recently refurbished. The ceilings are lovely and high, we have a fabulous view.
Good night!
Tomorrow morning we are going to go out for a walk before we are picked up by our personal travel guide to the stars, Shanthi.
8th October – San Fran in all her Glory
A wonderful sleep in a very comfortable bed. The hotel is a little noisy, because it is an old building. There is no outside noise that gets in though, so I slept very well.
I do wake up feeling like absolute shite. Coughing up all sorts of nasties. BLURGH.
The view out our window is gorgeous and we stare at the lightening sky as Jason feeds his coffee addiction.
Up and out for a walk along the waterfront. The sun is up and it is a warm start, we head to Red’s Java which has been around for ever. I think Jason gets his hopes up about the level of coffee he can expect here, it is essentially your atypical greasy spoon. You pay your $2.75 and get pointed to the bench that has the drip coffee, creamer, and sugar. Help yourself, and you can keep getting refills if you like.
Must be great for those that need a lot of coffee early, Jason assembles his concoction and we continue walking.
Fleet Week is on in San Francisco, it is an annual event that celebrates and honors the men and women of the U.S. Armed Forces. It features a Parade of Ships, an Air Show, Ship Tours, Concerts, and various community events. You can even do tours of some of the ships etc. It’s a fantastic opportunity for the public to interact with military personnel, witness impressive displays of naval and air power, and enjoy a range of festivities.
I wish I had timed it better so we could be there when it all kicked off properly, but we will have left by the time the fun really starts. There is a massive aircraft carrier docked down from our hotel, we really wanted a closer look and some photos (assuming I won’t get arrested).
You can get reasonably close, but there are gates and some very, very, very serious military guards checking people through the gates. I had wanted to ask when they were doing tours, but none of these serious looking people had an air of approachability.
We walk on.
Finding a farmers’ market, open Tuesday and Thursday if you are interested, with lots of fresh berries. Wahoo! We pick up a few punnets and head back to the hotel where they provide a nice continental breakfast.
We wait for our tour guide.
There is so much to see in San Francisco its hard to narrow down the list. Luckily Shanthi had already collated the must dos and put them into a manageable order.
After parking up we walk downtown, to get on one of the famous cable cars. They are in all the movies. As we wait for our turn Shanthi talks us through the closures that have taken place. So much of the centre of the city is empty with Macys next in line to close up. It is really sad because the city is gorgeous, the old buildings, high ceilings, and ornate windows. All closed up with the inevitable vandalism starting.
The city never really recovered from Covid. I am not sure if there were any other underlying reasons, its just sad.
As we listen to some pretty average busking our cable car finally arrives, just in the nick of time as a new busker had just arrived to join in.
The cable car is such fun, especially because its not raining. Otherwise, that would have been quite a different experience.
At one of the stops a middle aged gentleman joins us. Standing next to Jason on the running boards. The chap is dressed to impress, he looks like he is out of the Village People, the Biker/Leatherman in his summer outfit.
He is not tall, possibly a little shorter than me. Black hair and goatee possibly dyed. Very short, very tight, black denim shorts, very tight black t-shirt, leather harness, leather bum bag – possibly carrying all the essentials (the mind goes wild), massive gold rings on every finger, and a black leather cap.
Seeing him and Jason standing side by side was quite the sight. I wish I had taken a photo but I did not know how to start that conversation. I did sneak one as he left the cable car and went into a bar. See below.
I love the fact he was very comfortable with himself – bless San Fran and her vast array of eclectic humans.
We jump off at the end of the Powell Hyde line at Fisherman’s Wharf to start exploring. Popping in briefly to the Mechanical Museum on Pier 45 (Welcome to the Musée Mécanique (museemecanique.com)) which is filled with some creepy shit from arcades and shows. I saw a Tetris video game in there and was quite insulted this was included in a museum, it was one of my favourites.
We walk up to the Original Ghirardelli Chocolate & Ice Cream Shop. It is a very nice area with boutique shops, and you can do some chocolate tasting. It would be rude not to. Jason votes for the caramel as his favourite, Shanthi and I agree on the salted caramel. I would really like to indulge in an ice cream but it feels too early, and a touch greedy.
Walking along Fisherman’s Wharf and to Pier 39 it is so different to how I remember it, I was last here in 2011. Back then it was thriving with people, like too many people. Now it is incredibly quiet and a lot of the fish suppliers on have shutdown, It feels deserted even though there is a very large cruise ship in town today.
Next on our to do list is the beautiful, steep, and lung burning walk up to Coit Tower, where you can get spectacular views of the city. There are many ways to get to Coit Tower but Shanthi knows the secret, pretty, and green way up. It also involves a lot of steps.
Starting at the Bottom of the Greenwich Steps about a half a block in from the corner of Greenwich and Sansome Streets. You will find a hidden stair case. Just follow your way up, up, up. The first section of stairs is around 200. With a couple more sections to follow. I gave up counting, but there are a lot. It is worth it though.
If you do this walk, remember to look behind you, you will see the best views. Plus you can have a breather whilst you pretend to take photos. I may have done this.
At the top you are rewarded by some of the best views of the city. We did not go to the top of Coit Tower, I don’t think the view would have been any better.
Its getting late in the day and we are hungry! Time to walk down the hill, thank the gods, and towards a San Francisco institution, Sotto Mare.
Sotto Mare (Italian Seafood | Sotto Mare Restaurant | San Francisco (sottomaresf.com)) is an Italian restaurant in the North Beach area. The building had many prior formations before undergoing restoration, Sotto Mare Oysteria & Seafood Restaurant opened in March 2007 and they have been flat out ever since.
There is one dish in particular we are here to sample. By we, I mean Jason and Shanthi, as it is filled with shellfish and I don’t want to get sick.
Cioppino! There was some debate last night about the origin of this dish, but some internet searching proves it was invented here in San Francisco by Italian immigrants.
It is traditionally made from the catch of the day, which in San Francisco is typically a combination of dungeness crab, clams, shrimp, scallops, squid, mussels and fish, all sourced from the ocean the Pacific. The seafood is then combined with fresh tomatoes in a wine sauce.
The menu states there is enough seafood for two people, the menu is wrong. There is enough for an entire family. Jason and Shanthi give it a really good nudge but wave the white flag in surrender and Shanthi takes the rest home for another meal.
I had salmon and the food was delicious as well as the bread. I do love carbs. All washed down with a delicious bottle of wine. I love holidays.
After we have stuffed ourselves silly its time to visit Chinatown. San Francisco’s Chinatown is one of the largest and oldest in the US and it is filled with restaurants and lots of little shops. Today we are heading to the oldest bakery, Eastern Bakery, Shanthi has a craving for a pineapple bun. There is actually no pineapple in it, the way it is baked creates a pattern that looks like a pineapple on the top.
It’s a funny place where the owners still believe the world is riddled with covid, they are not wrong, and will not let anyone in the shop. You order at the door, they scurry away and fetch your items and bring it back to you. When Shanthi queried this, the old chap just points at a sign about social distancing etc, and hands over her baked goods.
In the meantime I have popped next door to a cool shop with so many things I never knew I needed. Amazing Chinese kitchen implements, I want them all, but show restraint and leave with two tiny chopstick beds. I needed them.
Continuing our walking tour we, eventually, end up back at the car. It is heading towards late afternoon and we all have things to do. The last part of our tour ends with a drive to the Golden Gate Bridge. Of course you have to see it, its iconic. Jason had suggested we walk over it until I explained it was 1.7 miles, one way.
Shanthi drops us back at our hotel where we bid farewell. I highly recommend Shathi’s Guided Tours, a 5 out of 5 star rating from me. In all seriousness it was an amazing day and so great to spend time with her. Thank you my friend.
We have a little rest. One of us needed a nap. No points for guessing.
Tonight is the Alcatraz Night Tour. I did this last time I was here and loved it. So creepy and informative. Plus you have a boat ride across the harbour which is a bit of a sightseeing experience in itself.
You get to travel around the island before we dock, they don’t do that during the daytime tour. Also, at night, it really gives you impression of just how isolated the prisoners and guards must have felt each day when the part timers went back to the mainland.
I wont go into too much detail about Alcatraz or the tour itself. I do recommend it. Its spooky, interesting, and a bit depressing. There is a self guided tour with a recorded narration. Which somehow, we managed to fuck up on Jason’s device. This meant he was telling me to go one way and my tour was telling me to go another. He was getting mad at me. Damn lucky I didn’t lock him in one of the cells!
As part of the night tour there are also a couple of presentations. One we watched was related to escape attempts and whether, in fact, anyone had escaped Alcatraz. I vote yes. Did they survive? Meh, that’s another story (Alcatraz Island Night Tour | Alcatraz Island Tours – AlcatrazIslandTickets.com).
After our tour, the presentation, photos and generally freezing our butts off, we board the boat to go back to the mainland. It is getting late and we need to find dinner. Initially Jason had seen some hot dog vendors by the dock and was keen to try it. I managed to talk him out of it. No point in rolling the dice.
As we walk back to the hotel we pop into The Fog In (yeah, great name for any bar in San Francisco, especially as we are enveloped in fog this evening). Where we had a lovely dinner with lots of left over pizza for breakfast tomorrow.
Back at the hotel we pack up and prepare to depart. Tomorrow we leave lovely San Fran and head to Palm Desert to see our lovely friends Mark and Mari. We are excited.
Exhausted sleep takes us.
Whales, Seals, Otters, Birds, Bears, and Beers
1st October – Haines
The next stop on our cruise is the town of Haines. Yet another stunning town surrounded by the most picture perfect mountains. Today’s mountains come with a dusting of fresh snow. According to old mate on the pier, this means they have two weeks until Winter really arrives here in Haines and the cold sets in.
It does not seem like an appropriate time to tell him, its fucking freezing mate.
Today’s excursion is a 2 hour hike. There are three of us doing the hike, Jason, myself, and a nice, older chap, called Chris. Chris is a perpetual cruiser (that sounds wrong), he is retired and does between 6 and 8 cruises each year. He is a wealth of knowledge.
Our guides today are Annie and Abby, they are the sweetest creatures. Very chatty and thoughtful. They are both from elsewhere and have been working in Haines for the summer. Abby is off to New Zealand to work as a guide in Abel Tasman. If you come across her, say hi!
Being the helpful kiwis that we are, we gave her the full rundown of all the things you need to know. Most importantly that the sandfly is NOT your friend and a large dose of deet will be required whenever you leave your tent.
I hope she enjoys her time there.
The hike is out to a beach where we can enjoy the views and the snacks that both Annie and Amy have provided for us. Jason was extremely excited about having a coffee, until they realised that they had forgotten the cups. Tooooooo funny.
We don’t see any critters, with the exception of one squirrel, and the bear spray remains unused. Come on bears, we are desperate to see you!!
Normally this hike takes 3 hours, but we are all pretty fit, and it is not overly difficult so we have it all done and dusted within 2 hours. Even with a couple of detours and lots of photography. So the ladies take us for a bus tour of the town, to help us get our bearings.
Haines was the home of Fort William H. Seward, also known as Chilkoot Barracks or Haines Mission, was built in 1902 and played a big role during the Klondike Gold Rush. It was the last of twelve military posts constructed in Alaska during that time. It is now a National Historic Landmark and offers visitors a chance to explore Alaska’s past amidst beautiful scenery, many of the original buildings are now homes and have been repurposed for the town.
They have a very strange 4th of July tradition here called the 4th of July Panty Fly. 99 pairs of white underwear and 1 pair of red underwear are stuffed into a canon.
The locals all place bets, at a cost of $5 each, on how far the red underwear will fly. The winner gets half the takings and the other half goes towards a local charity. Sounds like a riot, I wonder if it is on YouTube anywhere…
We are dropped off in town so we can do a little bit of shopping. Tomorrow we are heading to Hubbard Glacier and it would be great if we could have a pair of binoculars to see up close and look for any cold critters. There is a sports shop and the guy was very helpful, let us take a couple of pairs outside to try them out. Inside the store there is a huge array of taxidermized local animals. All locally hunted. They are huge. There is the usual moose, deer, bears, foxes, but also a mountain lion (nope, don’t like that), and a seal (are you fucking kidding me). Anyway, it is fascinating, you can also pick up a hand gun, rifle, or semi automatic, if you are in the market for one.
We secure our binoculars and head off to the American Bald Eagle Foundation (American Bald Eagle Foundation – American Bald Eagle Foundation (baldeagles.org)). They rescue and take care of injured birds, those that are on display are permanent residents due to their injuries. Mainly damaged or amputated wings. Most of the birds tangled with powerlines or cars, got their wings caught and down they went, people will bring them into the sanctuary where they are cared for, if the bird will fully recover, it is returned to the wild, if not, they stay here and are often used for education purposes.
There are three large, beautiful bald eagles, and a Eurasian Eagle Owl. No, that is not some hybrid species designed by man, but a bird that is normally at home in much of Europe, Asia, and the Middle East. They are gorgeous. Someone had bought it or found it, and now it is “imprinted”, meaning it is attached to humans and would not survive in the wild. It is only 14 weeks old, and it is HUGE. Think of the owls from Harry Potter, but bigger. Just beautiful.
There is also a great museum part to the sanctuary, you pay to get in (they are not for profit and worth the small amount you pay to visit).
We buy a small item from the gift shop, got to support them, and start the walk to dinner. Annie and Abby recommended the Bamboo Room for halibut. Really weird as the name indicates some sort of Asian fare, but that would be completely incorrect. It is a traditional diner with the formica tables and vinyl seats, and the usual menu of burgers, fries, quesadilla, and deep-fried chicken.
Jason gets his halibut fish and chips, we have a couple of beverages and watch the world outside move by. Apparently, the fish is ok, but not as good as The Hanger – not surprising.
Haines is a small town but when there is a cruise ship docked, the streets are rather busy. I wonder if the locals love it or hate it. Probably a bit of both, they need the income but would really love the peace and quiet.
As we walk down the waterfront, we notice a bunch of tourists (because we are locals of course) staring up at the trees and, sure enough, there is a huge bald eagle, hanging out and enjoying the attention. How cool is Alaska?!?!
There is a plant in Alaska that we have heard about from several of our tour guides. It is called Devil’s Club and the indigenous people use it for medicinal purposes. They turn it into tea, a paste, put it in meals, and also create a balm you can rub it on your skin (Clarise) to help with rashes, pain, arthritis, swelling, practically everything. Or so the advertising goes.
My scar has been insanely painful the last couple of weeks, I think all the nerves are beginning to wake up or repair, and everything hurts. Sitting, standing, rubbing, its unpleasant. So, I have decided to buy into the hype and find some of this balm. It surely can’t make it any worse… can it.
We find the local store that has the balm, and I buy a couple of tubs to take with me. I have been using it for a while now, and my scar feels better. No idea if it is the balm or just time. But I will assume, because it suits me, that it is the balm. I still get the occasional stabbing pain that stops me in my tracks, but nothing like it was before.
At this store they also sell fudge, and Jason needs this for medicinal purposes also. We purchase three different flavours to take back on the boat.
Our tour of the town ends at the brewery, Jason has been circling it since we got here, and it is now open. NAME OF THE BREWERY, the beer, apparently is very nice. The views out the back are spectacular, the constant blah, blah, blah of our fellow travellers… not so much.
Having completed two tours of the town, seen everything we want to, filled up on nice food and beer (not me), we amble back to the ship.
Jason is napping so I head up to the Spinnaker bar to write some postcards, I really wanted to get them done asap and sent from Alaska. Over the next hour I watch entitled people come and go from the bar, I watch the bar man manage the behaviour with a smile and a song. He is also the master of accents, which he tries out on every punter. I am amused.
As I sit and write, someone orders a Baileys and Club Soda. WTAF! I had to double take, as did the bar tender, but sure enough, that is what she wanted. I thought I might be sick.
I complete my postcard writing assignment, with enough time left that I can actually go ashore and post them! Which I do. Jason is still resting, and I feel very pious for getting them done. Yay me.
At 430pm we say goodbye to Haines, Alaska. What a beautiful place.
Tonight, we hang out in the bar before heading back to the Sushi restaurant for another delicious dinner.
Tomorrow we are at sea, we are going to view Hubbard Glacier. I wonder what that will be like.
2nd October – Hubbard Glacier – Jesus Wept its Cold
Today we figured out that it is possible to have breakfast without the hordes and madness. We head downstairs to the Seven Seas restaurant. The menu is al a carte, you are seated at tables, they bring you food, it is bliss.
It is possibly the reason why Jason was not arrested at sea. I think if I had taken him back to the trough again, he would have lost it.
They have eggs benedict, his favourite breakfast ever, and he is very happy. They will also allow you to change what is on the menu and are very accommodating. Overtime I figure out I can get more and more vegetables and fruit, which I desperately need.
A lovely session at the gym where we see whales in the distance, how special is that. Not something you usually see as you slog it out on the treadmill. It was amazing.
We head up to the Spinnaker Bar, which will be the main location for most people wanting to head out onto the viewing deck when we get close to the glacier. Now it is raining and cloudy, we wonder if we will see anything at all.
Due to the weather and slightly choppy seas, we are delayed getting to the glacier, but you would hardly know as we sit, sip drinks, eat a DELICIOUS salmon chowder, and listen to music. The bar fills and fills with anticipation of the glacier.
We are lucky, we have a seat, and a table. I can write and have a place to put my cocktail, and Jason can wander about and have a home base for his beer. Then we start to get close.
We laugh at couples who are wearing matching outfits, jackets, shoes. Until we realise that we are matching, thanks to Krys and David who lent us their super-duper warm jackets. Jason says it doesn’t count because ours are black. I will take it.
You can see the glacier looming in the distance, we start travelling past large clumps of ice in the water. I can only assume there was nothing big enough to tear a hole in the boat. As we get closer more and more people appear and start going outside to view the glacier. The rain is still coming, its very cold, and one stupid woman decides to take an umbrella outside. For the love of all things sensible 1. Its windy out there; 2. Think of other people you selfish twat. The twat in question did not last long and waddles her way back inside.
We step outside as the ship gets closer and its just breathtaking. The photos and my ramblings do not do it justice. The colour and magnitude of the glacier is heart stopping, occasionally you hear the crack and boom of pieces falling into the sea. Unlike most other glaciers, Hubbard Glacier is growing and growing fast. Pushing its way into the sea. I hope this is a good sign that the planet is not completely fucked.
It is pouring, off and on, but we are warm, even though we are in shorts. The warm jackets, hats, and gloves make a difference. Until my feet get wet, damn it, then it is just cold toes. Brrr.
As with every tour there are view hogs, blocking others from seeing the glacier or getting a photo, it winds me up. Deep breath, not my circus, not my monkeys. Assholes! We are lucky though, both of us are reasonably tall and can see lots. Also, we have pretty good constitutions when it comes to the cold so, even though we are both in shorts, we stay out for some time and get some great shots when the crowd thins.
The captain was brilliant, he circled and circled, even when we went down to our cabin, we could stand on our balcony and get a good view. We are lucky, we are blessed.
It is time to defrost and head up to the specialty Mexican restaurant for dinner.
Yet again we are impressed with the service. Even though we feel the cruise and the boat are not what we had hoped, we cannot fault the enthusiasm and care of the staff. They are wonderful, as we start to see the same faces around the place, we become known as J and J. Too funny.
Its amazing how a little thought and care can make a difference, no big surprise really!!! As we speak to each person we interact with we get to know them, there are so many from the Philippines so I practice all my phrases from our visit last year. They love it, a wee touch of home, and the fact that we went there!!!
A lovely day and evening, time to sleep.
The clocks go back or forward or something!!! This happens every few days so it’s a touch confusing.
Sitka – 3rd October – Forever a place in my heart
We had sorted out an agenda for today.
Get up, go to the gym, have breakfast, and hit land for our tour.
But the time change royally fucked that. Instead we skip breakfast and head out to the tour. I pack snacks because I know it will not be good for anyone if we both get hungry/hangry.
As we wait for the ok to disembark, we notice a man on a scooter, one of the old people scooters you see around retirement villages (and cruises), with his suitcases and, oddly enough, a skateboard strapped to the front. This chap is not old… but does have one leg, below the knee, amputated and has a prosthetic. He is accompanied by two ship security guards, and they are the first to disembark. Turns out, this guy is a bit of an asshole. Or a lot of an asshole, very drunk, throwing up in the hallways, falling on people, and then skateboarding on the deck (I actually would have liked to have seen this), so he is being escorted from the ship. Later mate, find your own way home!
Dumb ass.
Sitka is the largest city in the United States by size, at 4800sm. However, by population, they don’t even make the top 100.
We make it to the excursion in time, unlike some who were left behind. We end up sitting next to a very delightful young woman called Willow. She was doing the excursion on her own so we hung out a bit.
The excursion is on a reasonably smaller boat, so not too many people and the crew are very cool. The tour guide has a full set of terrible jokes, the captain is very knowledgeable, and the deck hand did not fall overboard. Excellent.
This excursion is called Otters, Eagles, and Bears Oh MY! We are to go looking for sea otters and bald eagles, then, after the boat tour, we are transferred to a bus where we will go to a rescued bear sanctuary. Sounds like fun.
The sun is shining, there are only a few clouds in the sky, we have really lucked out.
Within minutes of setting out, we see whales, its like they were waiting for us to join them. Really showing off and looking spectacular. They were not even on the viewing menu for today! We head over to a little bay where bald eagles are often sighted, sure enough, there were lots. Including one who had recently caught herself of a lovely big fish and was having breakfast, sorry for the interruption.
It is cold on this boat, I have seven layers on, and still my toes are cold! Suck it up, get the views. It is worth it.
The otters are a little harder to come by, they are not as flashy or outgoing as the seals and whales, but we do see them, wallowing about and putting their cute little tails in the air.
Our captain who, I have to say, sounds just like Dolly Parton, says she will swing by a salmon catchment, as there are often bears in this area. Sounds great to us. We all scan the waterline looking hopefully. Is that a bear? Nope, a stump, a log, a shadow. And then……
A BEAR! An actual bear, swimming along, playing in the water, looking for fish, completely oblivious, or does not give a shit, to the fact that we are here. Then, ANOTHER BEAR. Two bears, one on the outside of the catchment (dumb bear) and one on the inside of the catchment, with a meal of fresh salmon (smart bear).
They are Sitka Coastal Brown Bears and they are freaking adorable. I just want to give them a snug, not wise though. Not wise at all. Keep your hands to yourself.
We watch the bears for a while, it is incredibly special and a big step up from the black bear doing a runner up the street in Juneau.
How good is this!
Its time to head back to the mainland. Past the giant sea lions lazing on the bouy and catching some rays. Past the whales and otters. This has to be the best tour ever. We came here to see the wildlife and see it we did!
Back on land we are heading off to the Fortress of the Bear. This seems a little senseless having seen some in the wild, but no, it was really great. And what a story. Apparently, in the past, if a mumma bear was killed they euthanised any baby bears because there were no facilities to take care of them. That is just unthinkable.
One person wanted to open a facility to take in these babies and keep them safe!
It took years and more hoops than an Olympic hula hooper (imagine that as an Olympic sport). But eventually they got there. They currently have 6 bears. 4 brown bears and 2 black bears and they are just goofy. Especially the brown bears, playing and lolling about. We named one Harri, she just seemed a bit confused by life and completely incompetent. Not sure why we chose that name.
By chance we met the man that started it, he was very reserved and all about the bears. What a guy. Fortress of the Bear
Next stop, Alaska Raptor Center! No, not the raptures from the Jurassic movies, those are raptors. Quite different, though they can be very deadly.
Like the facility in Haines, the Raptor Center take in injured and abandoned birds. They have an amazing facility for rehabilitation, you can watch them through one way glass (so they don’t get used to humans), where they fly and get their strength back. Its impressive. When they can fly to and balance on the highest rope, they are ready to go back to the wild. Alaska Raptor Center – Rehabilitation. Education. Research.
There are also those who cannot return to the wild due to their injuries. These have wonderful environments where they can hang outside, no nets, no cages, just sunshine and freedom, and a safe place to sleep at night where predators cannot get them. An amazing facility.
We do a little bush walk down to the river, there are salmon skeletons everywhere. It looks bad and smells worse. In a movie we would look around, see the skeletons just a moment too late, before some unknown creature swoops down and has us for lunch. In this case, we just gag at the smell, look at the remains, and head back. Apparently a lot of birds and bears hunt salmon here.
Our tour is complete! What a fabulous time. By far the best excursion we have done so far. I cannot imagine anything topping it, all this before lunch. Speaking of which, the driver drops us in town and we head to Beak Restaurant for some much needed food. Noting that all we have had today is a muesli bar and some wasabi peas! Probably a good thing as we have been over indulging.
This restaurant focuses on creating an inclusive environment, sustainability, and utilising local produce. The staff were very sincere and lovely. The food is ok, and they refuse to accept tips. Any tips that are left will be donated to charity.
After lunch we explore town, which takes about 35 minutes, tops. Then it is time to head back to the ship. As we line up for the bus there are two dogs just BEGGING for pats. I had to oblige. According to their mum, they would happily come home with me.
We find a lovely seat to sit and watch as we depart Sitka.
Dinner is at Seven Seas tonight and our lovely Filipino friends welcome us. It is busy so we share a table with Kiwis and Aussies, of course.
A nice meal, a night cap, a happy day.
WE SAW BEARS! IN THE WILD.
Icy Strait Point – 4th October – They were not wrong
OMG the 4th of October, time is zipping by so quickly. I mean it feels like only yesterday we boarded this ship and I was complaining about it. Don’t get me wrong, I am still sad that its not what we had expected, but the excursions, the experiences, and the staff are so good. We have seen everything we could have hoped for. With the exception of an Elk. But that was never really high on the list – well, my list anyway.
Up for breakfast, our lovely hostesses arrange us a table by the window. As we eat we see a bald eagle swoop in, grab a fish and fly off to have its own breakfast. Gold.
Icy Strait Point is located in the town of Hoonah on Chichagof Island. The population is 946, approximately. I mean at any time one might arrive and one might leave.
Today’s excursion is whale watching and bear searching. Sounds great. We are due to spend three hours out at sea looking for different whales, and then 2 hours doing a bear search. I am not quite sure what that entails, but I am also super stoked that we got to see bears yesterday!
We board a much bigger whale watching boat than we did at Sitka. So many more people including the notorious platform hogs. Renowned for taking space and not sharing with anyone, unfortunately they behave the same way today. Meh, fuck em.
It’s a bit slow going, at least 45 minutes before we even see a spout of water.
Now, I need to tell you what that spout of water is. When whales dive under water, they don’t exactly take a big drink of water that gets blown out. Instead this is the water that sits on top of the blow hole. Around 1-2 cups of water, it looks like so much more. Also, it includes anything that has accumulated in their blow hole, think… whale snot. So when they blow that out, they are, essentially, blowing their nose.
From all accounts it smells bad and tastes worst. It all comes down to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, I am somewhat pleased I have not had that experience!
Then it all happens. Whales start appearing and they are putting on quite the show. I am desperate to get a good photo of a whale tail, but I am slow or misstep, or they are just playing hard to get.
Regardless, I am spending my day chasing tail. That feels wrong.
Jason got a great video when we were following mum and baby along, they both dove under, and he captured both their tails. Well, done!
Then a pod of orca whales turns up. How freaking cool is that. You can tell by their dorsal fines. They are very different to the humpback whales we have been seeing. If you use binoculars you can see a lot of white on their backs. We follow them for some time, seeing their fins as they sail along.
Before you know it we have seen dozens of whales and it is time to head back to shore, to top things off a group of dall’s porpoise. I had erroneously been using the term dolphin. But apparently these are different things. There is a whole list of differences you can search, but I won’t bore you with them here.
These dalls turn up, doing jumps and tricks along the side of the boat. Its like they were all timed and choreographed, and we got to see the best of them.
Back at the dock we are ready for round two, going on a bear hunt. It takes some puzzle solving to figure out where we are meant to meet. But with tickets in hand, I ask a nice bystander who points us in the right direction.
We are early, our tour is at 1130 and its only 1050, we sit and wait. Having a little snack out of my bag to keep us going. This part of the tour is meant to take around 2 hours, leaving us with less than an hour to see anything else before we must be on board.
Finally, it’s our time. The bus arrives and ever man and his ancient dog push in front of us. MY GOD I am tired of these old fucks and their lack of manners. Everyone carries on about young people and their sense of entitlement. But whoever said that has never been on a cruise with these wankers.
I wave them through, openly telling them how manners are clearly optional. Not one of them giving it a second thought. Covid, I have a visitors list for you.
We are all on the bus and it turns out there are not enough seats. The tour has been over booked. The driver, Ginger (red hair, not a lot of teeth) is trying to get hold of the head office, trying to figure out what has gone wrong, and getting nowhere. We sit and we wait.
Jason and I did a quick convo, we saw bears yesterday, the tour before this saw none, we could end up sitting here for another hour whilst they figure it out, lets just seed the seat and go do our own thing.
Ginger is super appreciative, takes us to the lead of her team, who is also appreciative but states “I can’t do anything for them”. We smile nicely, tell them we will speak to the people on the boat, and go our own way.
Instead, we do the lovely, short walk around to the centre of town, now that is a stretch, this place is TINY! The centre of town includes a couple of restaurants, a museum, a gift shop, and gondola that takes people from the dock to the town. 5 minutes by gondola or a 20-minute walk.
In winter, this all shuts down except for the few locals who have little cabins by the water. I bet they cannot wait for us to leave. As the boardwalk is right outside their doors.
We had a very enjoyable dinner at The Smokehouse on Duck Point. The food was really good, and we start talking to a couple of guys from our ship. They are delightful and really enjoyable to chat with. By the time we finish up we get back to the ship with 30 minutes to spare.
A quick change, removing about 4 layers, and head to the usual spot for a drink and watch the us leave. We speak to a couple who were on the Bear Search, apparently they did see a bear! By the sounds of it, the best part about the tour was the Bear Guide, who would walk them along the track, talking about what to look for and carrying a revolver for safety. Nevermind, we saw bears and we were very lucky.
I wonder if he also carried bear spray? You would think a revolver would do the trick.
Today’s tip. If you are looking at bear shit, it is easy to tell the males from the females. Males tend to walk and poo at the same time. Females will stop, poo, then move on. Meaning the males poo is all spread out, the females, however, have their shit together. Funny and true.
Tonight’s dinner is at a Brazilian BBQ. Where the meat is endless. Ironically, this is the only night that Jason decides to eat vegetables! The first few rounds of meat were amazing, but it feels like they lured us in with that, and then kept bringing the cheap cuts. It was quite disappointing, especially at over $100 each.
Retiring to bed, we are exhausted. The ship is rocking and rolling a lot. It’s the first time something has fallen off a shelf and the outdoor furniture is moving about. It’s the perfect way to be put to sleep!
Tomorrow we have our final Alaskan stop at Ketchikan. I am really looking forward to this.
5th October – Ketchikan? Ketchikant!
After a lovely rolling night of waves I feel like I had a great sleep.
Only one thing fell off the shelf and the outdoor furniture is still on the deck, even though it has moved about a bit.
We are meant to dock at 700am, however, at 630am we are still barrelling along and I feel like we are going in the wrong direction. Hmmmm.
At 800am the captain comes on the intercom. It is HIGHLY unusual for any announcements to be in your room. They will be made in public areas, so we knew this must be important.
Apparently, due to the weather it was not safe to dock in Ketchikan so that has been abandoned. We are heading straight to Victoria, BC, which was meant to be our last stop. Damn it!
To be fair we have been incredibly lucky with the weather. Other ships had missed out on so much more, we cannot really complain. Instead we plan our day at sea, we will not dock until we reach Victoria on the 6th at 830pm, I secretly hope we will be there early.
I am getting sick again, I can feel it in my chest and I am starting to cough. ARGH!
Probably a good thing that we spend the day doing very little, a quick trip to the gym. Lunch at the Seven Seas with another lovely window seat. We are seated near an older couple from Coffs Harbour, too funny. They were delightful and we had a great chat.
We were talking about how wonderful the staff are and there is only one person on the ship that seems to struggle with smiling or being pleasant. Jason refers to him as Mr Cranky Pants, before we could even finish the sentence, William states “the barman”! His reputation precedes him!
Our entire day seems to revolve around food, drinking, and lazing about. It’s almost like we are on holiday!!
Tonight’s dinner we are heading back to Le Bistro, our favourite restaurant so far.
Digression: when we ate at one of the specialty restaurants I ordered a bottle of wine. I thought we were not allowed to take it back to our room (don’t get me started) and was accepting of that. At the end of the meal though, the server said “here, you paid for this you take it with you”. Oh cool. So we did.
Then when we were at lunch I ordered a lovely rose. Did not finish it and said, I would take it back to my room. The server smiled nicely, and dried off the bottle for me to take with us. No issue.
Tonight at Le Bistro there was a little bit of wine left, probably around 1/3 of a bottle. I said to the server we would like to take it back to the room. He said we could not, we could fill up our glasses and take those back to our room, but not the bottle.
Yeah, confused? Just wait.
I said, no problem, I actually said that I thought that was the case but I had been given bottles previously to take back to the room and it was a little confusing.
Not mad, or concerned, we had an alcohol package so it really did not matter either way whether we took the bottle or not.
The staff here are so concerned about customer satisfaction this sent them into a real flap. I kept trying to assure them it was not a problem at all. We are happy to take the glasses back to the room instead and thanked them for their diligence.
We would, of course, obey the rules.
As we went to leave the maitre d brings over a full bottle of unopened wine and said I could take that back to our room and apologises for any inconvenience.
Now I am really confused. But…
Ok. I thank them very much and appreciate the gesture.
The food was not as good as the first time we ate here. I wonder if the staff and ingredients are getting tired. Nothing has been refreshed since we left Seattle. It was still tasty, but not as well cooked. It is still our favourite restaurant on the boat.
Tomorrow we have nearly a full day at sea, we now get to Victoria at 430pm!! Which is much better, we can enjoy it and do a bit more sightseeing.
Too funny that we are visiting Canada three times in this one trip.
Not long until we disembark. Unlike leaving our first cruise, I am happy to move on. I am ready to get off the ship.
Spoilt shitbag, aren’t I.
Haines
Hubbard Glacier
Sitka
Icy Strait Point and At Sea
Skagway – Not a swear word
30th September – Skagway – Wind from the North (or variations of that)
We wake up to find we are already docked at Skagway. Another beautiful town surrounded by dominating mountains, some of which have a lovely smattering of snow on them.
To prepare for the day we hit the gym first, before heading to breakfast.
Breakfast at the trough is always a bit entertaining and today I was engaged in conversation by someone I like to call Big Red Neck.
BRN: Holding up a “biscuit” (imagine Jo putting on her best southern accent) “they call this is a biscuit, don’t look like no biscuit I eva seen”
BRN: Pauses for effect or maybe he just takes a while to get started “looks more like one of those scooooooooooooooone things”
JKW: Puts on best British accent possible “its certainly not a biscuit, if you ask for a biscuit where I am from, you’d get quite the surprise”
BRN: Looks confused, walks away. Clearly I am not as funny as I thought.
Well that was fun.
Today we have another tour booked. It is called “Best of Skagway and White Pass Railway”. Well, that sounds rather lovely.
A quick scout around the town, Jason finds there are at least two breweries. Essential information in order to map out our day. Quite of few of the stores have already closed for the season. There will not be many cruise ships after us and many of the summer residents have gone back to their hometowns, rather than brave an Alaskan winter. I completely get that.
A few years back there was a massive rockslide right by the dock, one of the areas is closed due to the risk. The following year rocks and debris were still falling and they wanted to put a warning system up there, technology, it seems, was too expensive. So they paid someone 52k to stay up on the top of the hill, not on the landslide – phew, and phone them if things started falling.
It did not take them long to figure out that was probably not the best approach and they shut it down. What a job though!
Our bus takes us on the scenic route to get to Liarsville. Yep, it is actually called Liarsville. The Liarsville Camp was originally named after journalists who came here during the Klondike Gold Rush and cooked up a whole lot of bullshit (Things have not changed since the 1890s). Apparently it was their job to go to the gold mining area and report back, but they deemed the track too dangerous and hard (they were right) so instead, they listened in on conversations of those who had been, embellished it, and published it. Starting the gold rush.
As we arrive one of the “Liarsville Players” jumps on the bus, starts talking in old timey lingo, and howling. Oh for fucks sake, what have we walked into. He does a big spiel and welcomes us all to Liarsville. There will be a show later, can we escape? Jason and I look at each other, but no, we got her by bus, and stealing it would not be a great look.
Ah well, we grab a beer and wine, I feel we are going to need it. Before the show we have, what the locals all, a salmon bake. That does not mean that the salmon is put in the oven and baked, it is actually cold smoked over an open fire. Its more of a BBQ and the offerings look pretty damn good.
BBQed chicken, coleslaw, cornbread, pickles, and, of course, salmon. It is really tasty. We take our time, surely if we wait long enough we will miss the show? Unfortunately, they know where we are and promptly herd us up and over. There is a lovely fire burning, did I mention its bloody cold here????, and that attracts us. Talk about moths, we head to the fire, only to find out the show is NOT being held here. We are ushered into the cold.
I am not sure what to say about the show, you really have to see it for yourselves. They are enthusiastic and clearly have their routine nailed. But, it could have been because it was the end of the season, or it could be because its just shit… but it was TERRIBLE. Cringeworthy. Awkward at times.
Luckily it only lasted 30 minutes or so, felt longer, and we were moved on to the next activity. Panning for gold. Of course gold had been placed in the dirt we were panning for, but it was still fun. I opted out, the water is fucking freezing, are you insane!!! And nominated Jason to do the hard work, and he did it very well. He will be investing his gold into a Mustang, matchbox car.
After Liarsville we head back into town, this time we are off to a brothel. Well its about time if you ask me! This brothel was established in 1898 and was called the Red Onion. Wow, I am not sure if that is the worst or the best name for a brothel.
In Skagway at that time there were 1,500 men and 300 sex workers. These girls were BUSY.
In order to select your “date” there were a bunch of dolls behind the bar that indicated hair colour, eye colour, shape, etc. The patron would indicate which doll he wanted, the lady was engaged and off they went. The doll was laid down to indicated, well, that she was laying down.
$5 for 15 minutes and that shit was timed down to the last second. The men would pay the women, before the deed (smart ladies), and they dropped the coins into a hole in the floor. That hole was connected to an array of copper pipes that all, ultimately, lead down to the area behind the bar.
$5 was an awful lot back then, but by the time the madam and the hired thugs got paid they really did not end up with overly much. Sadly enough, it was way more than they would have earned anywhere else.
The original brothel is still standing including the original wiring and some of the original wallpaper. Really interesting. They had electricity in 1897, seven years before move of Manhattan.
The gold rush only lasted 2 years because, well, shit had been made up and there really wasn’t that much gold in them there hills. The brothel itself only really boomed for the same amount of time.
The tour was great, our guide was funny and knowledgeable. If you had to choose between the Liarsville Players and this working girl, choose the working girl!
OMG AND AND AND, did you know what the original purpose of Lysol was???
Hold on to your panties ladies.
Use as a contraceptive
The Lysol disinfectant douche once was “the leading feminine hygiene product” in the United States. Advertisements for Lysol during the 1930s hinted at its use as a contraceptive but never explicitly promoted it to be used as such. Advertisements did note that Lysol was safe to use including on “delicate female tissues”. By 1911, 193 Lysol poisonings were recorded along with five deaths from “uterine irrigation”.
Good to see that some things never change. Test it out on women, it will be fine! My eyes watered just thinking about it.
Back on the bus, and we are off to British Columbia for our train ride. That’s right, we are heading back to Canada. Too funny, we only really left Canada a few days ago and we are heading back.
The bus ride takes about an hour heading along the motorway and past some beautiful scenery, we get out to take photos and freeze our bits off. The wind is whipping through this pass like nothing else.
Jason is really looking forward to this train ride, funny boy. The train is beautiful and reasonably comfortable, except for the fact there is no beverage car!!! There are little platforms at the end of each railcar where we can take photos.
As the conductor said, we have lots of wild animals here, but a platform hog is not one of them, so please share the view. Some people did not get the message. Actually, only two people, and the rest of us have noticed. So we take turns ensuring others have access to the view. Why, oh why, are people assholes?
As we head down the pass a bald eagle starts to fly next to our carriage, tracking us for a good few minutes, how special is that! I am loving the wildlife here, it is so amenable. We did not see any bears though.
After 90 minutes we arrive at Skagway station and opt to walk to town. Jason has not forgotten about the breweries. After a bit of discussion we decide to head to Skagway Brewing first, and I am so glad that we did. This place is such fun, absolutely humming with activity, the beers are nice (according to sir), the cocktails are insane (according to me), and their spruce tip cookies are AMAZING.
Quick side note, spruce tips are the new growth at the end of branches on spruce trees, which are EVERYWHERE in Alaska. They use spruce tips in cooking, brewing, wine making, everything. According to the web spruce tips are exceptionally high in Vitamin C, potassium and magnesium. So, eating cookies and drinking beer with spruce tips in them, MUST be good for you.
If you find yourself in Skagway I would highly recommend Skagway Brewing Company | Restaurant | Brewery | Gift Shop for food, beers, company, and cookies. We went there for one drink and stayed for a few more.
Jason wanted to see the second brewery though, so we dragged ourselves away and walked along the wooden footpaths (yep wooden footpaths) to Klondike Brewing.
And this place just let me down. I understand that there are some places that only do beer, they can only sell what they brew on location. New to me, but I get it. However, this place made it seem like I was a complete waste of their time for even asking. Such disappointing service, I am not even going to put the link because, fuck them.
Also, super weird, I went to the toilet and there was a massive hole in the wall. The toilet paper was quality though, I mean, super soft, so… well, there is that.
Skagway is beautiful and the people are friendly and helpful, definitely visit.
We head back to the boat, tonight we are eating at the specialty steak restaurant, Cagney’s. It is amazing. The steak was perfect, we had wonderful waiting staff that picked the right wine and were so attentive. The perfect end to the perfect day.
Another sleep of the happy dead.
The Cruise – Alaska Here We Come
Alaskan Cruise – Departing Seattle
27th September – Boarding and Bon Voyage
Time to board the elderly express, I mean our cruise ship. You have to select a boarding time, to avoid everyone turning up an hour before they are due to set sail, probably.
I selected 1000-1030. I considered a later time but knew that Jason would want to be there early and waiting anyway, so why fight it.
The process was very easy, everything is well sign posted and they send out tags for your suitcases in advance. All you need to do is fill them out and they will take care of the rest. Within 15 minutes of being delivered to the terminal are bags are tagged and checked, we are checked in, and we are through security. So efficient.
Then we wait. The actual time you can board the ship is 11am and you will be called in order of your boarding group. We are group number 7.
As we sit in the waiting area and look around at the other passengers, Judgy Jo takes full effect, and I am filled with dread. The last and only other cruise we have been on was amazing, with Oceania cruises. So far as experiences go, I would highly, highly recommend (Oceania Cruises Official Site: Cruises Around The World) we did a mediterranean cruise with them and loved every, single minute.
I sound so snobby, but I don’t care, everyone was dressed nicely, respectful, mostly well mannered. And that was not what I was seeing here.
Singlets, jandals, baseball caps on the middle-aged passengers, and a lot of others who just looked like they were waiting to die or had already expired. As we sat in the reapers waiting room it dawned on me that maybe there was a good reason this was on sale…
When we boarded it did not get any better. The boat is older and has an air of mass-produced holidays. Yes, we are grateful, and we are very spoilt to be able to have the holidays we do. We were also terribly spoilt by travelling with Oceania.
We are boarded but our rooms are not ready yet. There is lunch though. This is a good thing, maybe the low blood sugar is responsible for my lack of control over Judgy Jo (who is surrounded by bogans and is about to be trapped on a boat with them for 10 days). Spoiler alert, this is not the root cause.
We line up for food and again, I am disappointed. Jason refers to it as mess food. The kind that would be served up at the Police College, I have not eaten there, but I do agree that the food is ok, it will keep you alive, but its not good, or great. Again, we have been spoilt.
Turns out we had a right to be disappointed. We are heading into some of the best fishing waters in the world with salmon, tuna, halibut, and haddock (to name a few) but what they serve on the boat is frozen fish from Asia (tilapia and baja) not what we had hoped for.
There are announcements being made over the loudspeakers, but as the DJ is so loud no one knows what is being said. Eventually we figure out our room is ready. Thank fuck, I need to get out of here for some quiet time (old Jo).
Our room has plenty of space, like an average hotel room, and a balcony. But none of the decadence and beauty we were expecting. Instead, it looks worn, and a bit tired. Trying to focus on the positive, we are on holiday, we are about to depart the dock. I suggest to Jason we should go upstairs.
On our previous cruise, leaving each dock was celebrated with music and fanfare, and often a cocktail of the day. Very refined – well as much as a cocktail of the day is refined. None of that, instead of Vivaldi we had the DJ playing Gangnam Style and Barbie Girl… enough said.
Back to getting Jason on the move. I mentioned that we should go outside as we leave port and look at the city. It is a beautiful sunny day. He starts to unpack his suitcase. Maybe we can do that after? Ok, so starts to organise the suitcase strap and do other things.
JKW (on the edge of reason): Are you winding me up?
JW (grumpy AF): WHAT!
JKW (reason has now left the building): Nothing, see you later. Leaves the room.
We are off to a great start. The boat departs. I pull my head in, Jason apologises. We watch the view. Tell each other we are very lucky to be here, unpack our suitcases, get more settled, and go find a drink.
The gym is reasonably well set up and you can watch the ocean go by as you do a workout. Best view from a gym ever!
Tonight, we opt to try the sushi restaurant. They would not let you book in advance, so we had assumed it was flat out busy, but we were the only ones there. WARNING, WARNING! But no, the food was incredible. Everything we tried was delicious and the staff were very attentive. Our new mate, the head chef, sent over an extra dish. Considering we had over ordered; this was met with groans. We ate it anyway.
After dinner we were WAY too full to go to bed, so opted for a night cap at one of the many bars. Jason selected The Spinnaker; it has a great views. Tonight, it also had terrible karaoke, some of the worst I have had heard in a very long time.
A couple of security guards run through the bar, but despite my best hopes, it was not to shut down the karaoke. Bummer.
We listened to a couple more renditions of songs that will never be the same again, and we leave.
Off to our room and sleep. It’s the big guy’s birthday tomorrow.
28th September – At Sea and the Man’s Birthday
Our first stop is quite some way from Seattle, which means we are at sea for a full day and two nights before we set foot in Alaska. I had to find something to do for Jason’s birthday.
We are still full from last night’s dinner, the man opts for coffee, and we head off on a “Behind the Scenes” tour. As naff as it sounds, it really was very cool.
Starting with a TERRIBLE video on equipment that should have been retired many years ago, my hopes were not high. But, to my surprise, it was all up, up, up from there. Actually, it was down, down, then up, up, but that’s just semantics.
First stop was to the theatre, the entertainment manager talked us through how they arrange and choreograph shows. The Norwegian Sun, the boat we are on, is quite small so any stage shows that come onto the boat have to adjust to fit the environment. No hanging upside down from the ceiling apparently. The entertainment manager is a hoot, very, well… entertaining.
The boat has some good rock and rolling going on, I can’t help but be impressed with how anyone can dance on this stage in these conditions. Apparently, there have been injuries in the past – not me, and not today.
Next, to the galley! This is one of the largest kitchens and services two large restaurants. You are blinded by the sheer amount of sparkling stainless steel. It is very impressive. At any time, there are 150 cooks working in this kitchen, and they work hard! We ate at one of these restaurant’s several times and the food was good. Not great, but good.
Everything in this kitchen is big, including the giant-sized whisk. Might use that later for a birthday treat eww err.
The cooks spend 60% of their time doing kitchen stuff, and like the rest of the crew, 40% of their time is spent on safety drills and training. I like that, as we hurtle towards Alaska and its abundance of ice, it’s nice to know if we hit any, people will know what to do…
We also had a look at where all the food is stored, that is when Jason realises the shit fish that will be served on the boat.
Down to the laundry. Even though the boat has been pitching and rolling, the laundry is under sea level, therefore it is very calm – pays not to think about the fact that you ARE underwater at this stage. The amount of washing they do every day is insane. It would be like having a ship full of teenage girls. They have my pity. At least 6000 napkins – a day!
Into the engine room, not with the actual engines, but where they manage and control the engines (move away from the buttons people). The chief engineer explains everything, which was very interesting, but I have forgotten most of it now. Do this to go faster, do this to go slower, these things stabilise, these things do other stuff. You are not allowed to use your phone in this room, so no notes to help me sound impressive.
Last, but not least, we have a tour of the bridge, that is back up on level 10. The higher you go the more you feel the boat moving about under your feet. The bridge is extremely quiet, no interrupting the captain – I can appreciate that, I don’t really want to die today.
With the tour all wrapped up we head to one of the feeding troughs for a late breakfast.
I have booked us in for wine and cheese pairing, just because it’s his birthday doesn’t mean I can’t have fun too. Jason joins in and has the cheek to drink all his wine! He does wash it down with a beer though. The turn out was quite small so they gave us plenty of top ups.
We are seated with 2 kiwis and an Aussie; this will be the theme for the cruise.
I have done a few of these tasting in my lifetime, if you haven’t noticed, and this one was pretty good.
We need a wee rest and recovery before the next item on the agenda for the birthday boy, whisky tasting.
This is more the man’s idea of fun. There are three whiskeys, and they try them all neat and then add water. The rye was Jason’s least favourite, the look on his face was priceless. Common sense was prevalent today and I opted to sit out the whiskey tasting and was there for moral support and peer pressure.
When we get back to the room it has been decorated by our room angel, Soe. Including a very large picture of a cake on the door, so everyone knows its his birthday. This is followed up by a ginormous cake, that we cannot possibly eat.
We have a slice each and donate the rest to Soe and the team.
Needless to say, another visit to the gym was an absolute necessity. So much food.
The birthday dinner is at one of their specialty restaurants, Le Bistro, French cuisine. We have a lovely birthday dinner, the food is excellent, the wine was very good too, they sing him happy birthday and bring… another cake.
The day is wrapped up by a night cap at a much quieter pub with no karaoke. Tomorrow, we visit our first Alaskan town, Juneau.
A successful birthday I believe.
29th September – Juneau (Ju No)
A great night’s sleep, the boat rocking us to sleep. There is a lot more movement than in the mediterranean, but we really enjoy it. Plus, when you are leaving the bar no one knows if it is the boat or the booze that makes you swerve.
As we dock in Juneau we are seeing spouts of water from whales in the waters around us. How cool is that.
I am not sure if any of you have been on a cruise before, so I wanted to give you a little run down on how the excursions work. Each day the cruise line gives you a list of activities you can sign up for. And they will charge you like wounded bulls. The excursions are run by local tour companies, but if you do the excursion through the cruise, they set the prices.
Downside is, they are normally more expensive, and you can end up on a tour or activity with a bunch of whining wankers who do not have the physical capacity or social skills to be doing such an activity.
Upside is, if the excursion is late, the boat has to wait. If something happens to you (unless you have signed a waiver) the cruise will take care of you. There was a recent case in Bali where a bunch of Aussies had booked their own tour, got caught up in traffic, and the cruise line left without them. As it outlined in the information you receive. Also, when we were on Mt Etna and I fell, dislocated my finger etc, the cruise line had to give me some treatment (it was pretty shit, but more than if it has not been organised with them).
On this cruise it seems like any excursions requiring a level of fitness is being cancelled, we had a 5-hour hike booked for Sitka, canned. What about the canoeing, nope, ok, kayaking, cancelled. Sigh.
It could be because it’s the end of the season and tour companies are packing up, it could be because of the weather, or it could be because most of the people on this floating retirement village are not up to anything that requires you to “walk 800m unassisted” (this was a prerequisite for one excursion).
The frustrating issue I have here is they hand you a pamphlet that has all the excursions listed. I find some that I think we will really enjoy. Line up at the excursion desk.
JKW: I would like to sign up for this excursion.
UCM: That excursion is not running.
JKW: Oh, ok, how about this one?
UCM: None of those are being operated now.
JKW: Ummmm, why are they listed here?
UCM: You have to check this list over here, indicates different piece of paper, to see if any of those are listed.
JKW: Oh, so I have to cross reference everything? Because that’s super helpful.
SIGH (first world problems, deep breath, don’t be a self-entitled prat).
Couple of items I found curious/wrong about this cruise line.
Self-licking ice cream:
- All your bookings and excursions are listed on their app once you have booked them.
- In order to access the app, you have to have internet access.
- In order to get internet access, you have to pay them. So you can see the information you need.
Sustainability:
- Absolutely everything is printed out and left in your room, on tables, available everywhere.
- All advertised specials are printed daily and left on your bed.
- If they want you to use the app, make you use it, then why print everything out.
- There are no recycling bins in your room. So even if you don’t want the paper you cannot dispose of it in a recycling bin.
Enough of that, today’s excursion has not been cancelled and we are very excited about it. We will be going to a mushers camp to see sled dogs and puppies. There is no snow, so our expectation is that we will see where they live and hear how they are trained.
As we dock in Juneau you cannot see how pretty this place is initially, as with most ports it is very industrial and stacked high with shipping containers. There is a super cute grey seal just wallowing about and having a lovely time.
Another cruise ship got in before us and it is massive, 5000 people. Between us and this ship that means 7000 people inundating a town of 32,000 with an extra 25%. I don’t know how they manage it, but it seems to work out well. I mean the biggest queue we saw or experienced was terribly managed exit of our ship, you would think they’d have this figured out.
Dylan, our driver, is a riot with a well-practiced array of jokes and one liners that keeps us all amused as we head into the forest.
Some little-known facts:
- The Mosquito is the national bird of Alaska
- There are only three ways into Juneau
- By air
- By sea
- By birth canal
- There is a state law against pushing a live Moose out of a moving airplane (there is so much to go into here)
- In Juneau the average temperature is just below zero (fuck no)
- Otters may look cute, but they are like a snake cat, a tube of muscle, they will mess you up
- Bears, now this is important so pay attention:
- If it is black, fight back
- If it is brown, lie down
- If it is white, goodnight
The mushers camp is well away from any neighbours, according to Dylan its so they cannot hear us scream… this is my kind of guy. Realistically it is so they cannot hear the 180 dogs barking. Which they do, a lot.
Turns out we will be having a dog sled ride, of sorts. We are on a metal sled with wheels. This is their summer training camp, by the time it is winter, and they are doing competitions or just living life, they are in great form and ready to hit the snow running.
We have 16 dogs in our dog sled team, and they are not huskies. They are not white; they are not what you see in the movies. Huskies have been overbred so much that they are not up to the task anymore. These dogs are part huskie, but they have a lot of mix in there to ensure they are the strongest they can be.
What really surprised me is that the peak age bracket for a sled dog is 8-11 years old. One of the dogs pulling us today is 14! I had assumed they would all be retired by then, instead that is their prime and they love it. The noise and excitement when they realise that they are about to go for a run is incredible.
The ultimate speed they want to aim for, that is sustainable for a longer period of time, is between 8 and 11 mph. They can go up to 18mph but not for long. I am unsure how fast we were going but it felt fast, and we were swinging around corners.
We learnt about the ultimate dog sledding race called the Iditarod, I call it fucking madness, it is 938 mi (1,510 km) long and is usually completed in 8-15 days. During that time the mushers do not sleep. They have to carry everything they need, including little booties for the dogs, because the ice and snow is so hard on their paws. Think about this, you have 16 dogs, each with 4 paws, they need to change the booties every 5 hours (because they get worn out) so they need to carry 3200 with them.
Think of it as the Super Bowl of dog sledding, but colder and furrier Iditarod Trail Sled Dog Race – Wikipedia.
We get to meet our team of sled dogs after the ride, and I am really surprised at how snuggly they are and how much they love a good pat. A lot of working dogs are not interested in cuddles, but these dogs are so friendly. There are a couple I would like to bring home.
One in particular would give me big snugs, probably just to get the mud off her face, but I didn’t mind.
Next, we get to meet the latest litter of puppies. You had me at puppy! And, like all puppies, they are adorable, loud, smellie and NAUGHTY. We are allowed to hold them and one of them tries to add some additional ventilation to the jacket I am wearing. Sorry Krys! I think I removed the rascal in time.
We spent a few hours here and it was a great trip, we would love to do this when there is actual snow, seeing how fast they go, it would also be terrifying.
Back in town we still have several hours before we need to be back on the boat, we opt to head up the Goldbelt Tram. It is right by the pier and a very easy walk, since most people had queued for hours this morning there was no wait to head up the top. There was, of course, a hefty fee. $55 per person, plus tax. Well, we are not going to be back anytime soon, so up we went. The views were very impressive, we did not stay long at the top, just enough to try a local beer and wine before joining the queue to descend (Goldbelt Tram – The only tram in Southeast Alaska).
We don’t have to be back onboard until 930pm, loads of time to find a nice place for dinner, and wander back to the ship.
After some research we opted for The Hanger, the menu looks great, the ratings are good, the only issue is we cannot get hold of them to make a booking so we will just have to wing it.
Digression alert: when you are aboard the ship, they hand out VIP shopping deals. There is the usual % off full price, or 2nd one free, but there is also get things free, with no other purchase required. For example, you would go into EFFY and get a free pendent, all to lure you into the shop and try and sell you more.
I decided to see if they actually hand these things out, and they do. Boy oh boy do they put the hard sell on you though. To which I politely declined and left with my freebies.
Turns out that all these “local” shops are actually owned by the cruise line. Cheeky bastards. Well, they didn’t get my money, but I thought that was a bit rich, trying to squeeze out the local stores.
We made it to The Hanger, and it was thriving, in order to have dinner we would have to sit at the bar. Fine with me, saves the server having to go back and forth for my wine!
The bartender was next level efficient, not only servicing the drinks for everyone in the restaurant, but the bar was also his section, so he had to take our food orders and sort that out too. The man did not stop, he was a whirlybird of efficiency, no one was left hanging, orders were accurate and timely, and he could handle a bit of chit chat in-between. It was a wonder to behold.
The food was just as awesome as we had hoped. Jason’s halibut and chips were tasty and crispy, but not dry. I had a salmon dip, which was so plentiful and delicious we put it in a takeaway container and enjoyed it for the next few days, and a halibut wrap. The fish was fresh and juicy. Very pleased with ourselves. If you are in Juneau eat here and make sure you tip the bartender big, he deserves it (Hangar On The Wharf | Juneau, AK).
With time to spare its off to another brewery, recommended by the amazing bartender, so Jason can try another of the local offerings. Barnaby Brewing (BARNABY BREWING CO.) this place is deathly quiet, and its no wonder as they are closing in 10 minutes. Well, we timed that perfectly. Just enough time for Jason to have a couple of tasters and a pint.
There is also a resident cat, who deemed us worthy of patting him. Jason rates the beers as very drinkable, and I like the hat, so I purchase one of those.
We leave so the lovely young woman behind the bar can get back to closing up.
As we wander back to the boat we have to stop and find a hat for Jason, because, he has lost his new one. I am unsure what he has been doing with his hats. Hat in hand, mission accomplished, its time to board.
Crossing the street to the dock a man from one of the shops calls out.
YMFS: miss, miss, miss, excuse me.
JKW: Hi.
YMFS: There is a bear in the parking lot, you should be careful.
JKW: Oh exciting, where, where.
I promptly turn to walk towards the area of the bear sighting, when the bear pops out of the dark, runs across the street in front of us, and up the hill.
WE SAW A BEAR. IN THE WILD (KIND OF).
An absolutely perfect way to end the day. No photos as the bear was moving way to fast and I did not have time, but it was a bear, and it was a black bear. Happy, happy days.
Seattle – Undecided
25th September – leaving Canada
As mentioned, we caught the Clipper over to Seattle and it was super comfortable, thanks to the Comfort aka old people seats. It’s a really good thing I did book these as I looked at the other seats and Jason’s legs simply would not have fit.
We arrive on time, a novelty I greatly appreciate. Getting off the boat and onto land was very easy.
Just after 900pm we were landside and looking for a ride to our accommodation. It is only a few kms away, but way too far to walk and god knows what kind of neighbourhoods we would walk through to get there.
There were a few taxis but also a novel approach to getting passengers. You just approach and see where they are going and say “I can take you there, for this much money”. At first WARNING WARNING. But so many people were doing it we thought, this must be how it works. Plus I did not have a SIM so no way of ordering an Uber.
We ended up sharing a ride with, of course, a couple of Australians. And it worked out perfectly. $20 and 5 minutes later we are at the hotel and checking in.
We are staying at The State Hotel, it is super central and the outside looks very modern. Check in was also smooth and hassle free. Thank gods.
By 930pm we are in our hotel room. And it is shit. It is the size of a shoe box, and lets be honest, I know shoe boxes.
The view out the window is a wall. And I don’t mean a wall across the road where you can only see another building, but a wall that, if the windows opened, I could reach out and touch. WHICH, I certainly would not do, because the entire flock of flying rats, I mean pigeons, that inhabit this wall would be highly pissed off. Downtown Seattle Hotels Near Pike Place Market | The State Hotel, Seattle
No exaggeration, there was a flock/group/murder/gaggle of dirty little sky rodents living outside our room. Staring in, judging, and cooing.
There is a also a sketch or spray painted portrait of Che Guevara outside the window. At first, tired brain me thought – wow that’s dedication, to climb down that little space and paint that. Before realising, the probably did before the windows and pigeons were installed.
Back to the flying maggots. I thought, double glazing, all will be grand. But those little disease-ridden fuckers know how to live it up, and they live it up loud.
ALL HAIL THE EARPLUGS. Is all I can say, we unpack our essentials before bed, wash in our teeny of all teeny bathrooms, and go to bed. In our little cubicle.
We sleep, the pigeons sleep.
26th September – A Full Day in Seattle
We only really have 36 hours in Seattle to explore and make the most of the city. So its an early start. We want to get our washing sorted, especially before we get on the cruise and they charge us an arm and leg to get it done.
So, keeping in mind I still do not have a USA SIM card, I want to do all research and planning before leaving the safety of our hotel Wi-Fi.
According to Google there is a laundromat, that takes card payment i.e. no coins necessary, and it is about a 25 minute walk from here. Also, to find a SIM card, the receptionist recommends a few places, including 7-Eleven.
We map out the route that will get us to the laundromat via a 7-Eleven. I take screen shots of all the maps to help and off we set. 32 blocks in total, we are on 2nd avenue and the laundromat is on 34th. Madrona.
Off we go, walking through some interesting areas, getting the lay of the land for an area I don’t think we will ever want to visit again.
Before we hit our stride, I thought I would nip into Walgreens, they might have SIM cards. Unfortunately, both the women working there were nudging 110yo, and struggled with the concept that mobile phones needed another other than a charger. Abort, abort.
Up hill and down valley we go, until we find the street that 7-Eleven is on, we are doing so well navigating without GPS. Relieved we walk into the store and ask “do you have SIM cards”. No, no they do not. No, they don’t know where to get them.
Well fuck.
Nothing to be done, we will continue our journey onto the laundromat. After a quick stop at the hole-in-the-wall coffee place to double check our location, try and find out where in fact to get a SIM card, and get Jason, a much needed, coffee.
The young woman at the coffee place was an absolute angel. We explained our situation and she said she had been in exactly the same position in Paris and, if it were not for the kindness of strangers, she would have been screwed. So she set about getting intel and being an absolute love.
The name of the hole-in-the-wall is Westman’s Bagel and Coffee (Westman’s Bagel & Coffee (westmansbagel.com)) a Latinx women owned establishment. Is it coincidental that they are also super fucking helpful… I think NOT.
We recalibrate, Jason has his coffee, and we continue to the laundromat. Only another 19 blocks to go. Sigh.
Onward and upward, or so they say.
We walk past a load of donut shops and adult entertainment. A business called the Honey Hole which, despite the name, is neither for donuts or adult entertainment.
As we walk along, we see a Seattle squirrel. We know it’s a city squirrel because it has nabbed some KFC bones out of the bin and is happily indulging itself. Not overfly fussed when I stop to take photos. As long as I am not reaching for his KFC. I wonder if their life expectancy is shorter here… heart disease?
Quite some time later we make it to the laundromat! Victory! I can almost taste the feel of fresh laundry, until… I find out that Google had fucked with me. It is a coin operated laundromat, we have no coins, and according to the local shop keeper there are no ATMs nearby. He had one, but after so many break ins, he had it removed.
Yeah, that neighbourhood…
At this stage I am completely calm and reasonable. HA! I am grumpy as fuck and ready to tear anyone within arm’s reach, a new one.
We walk to the closest ATM, 6 blocks back in the direction we had come from. Maybe they have SIM cards there too. There is an ATM, thank you gods. I get out cash.
Jason approaches the cashier and enquires about SIM cards. An interaction that will stay in my mind for ever.
Jason: Gidday mate, do you have SIM cards.
DAFHD: blank stare
Jason: We are looking for a SIM card mate.
DAFHD: I am sorry, you want something to do with cats?
JKW: Nearly wetting herself, regroups and puts on her best posh accent. Do you have SIM Cards for mobile phones.
DAFHD: No, we don’t, sorry.
It becomes apparent to me that Jason should not be allowed to interact with locals AND finding a SIM card would be fucking hard.
The time and desire to do laundry has passed. We decide to walk back. I interalise the entire situation in my normal healthy (unhealthy) way. When I stumble across the fucking obvious. My bestie, the amazing Vanessa Hunger, had pre ordered an eSIM in the past. Why, for the love of all things good and amazing, did I not do this.
Fucking idiot.
As we slump our way 24 blocks back to the hotel I am busy on my phone. Step one, buy an eSIM! And it works!!! Step 2, find another solution to our laundry issue.
This turns out to be a solution called We Wash, I will not be putting a link – because I like you all.
They will pick up and deliver your laundry as designated times. I choose a 10am pickup and an 800am tomorrow drop off.
All sorted. Thank you internet. Thank you.
Back at the hotel the laundry angels are there to pick it up. Thank you very much. I did make a mistake of using my name for the order. This is normally not an issue as everything is usually booked under my name. But our travel agent chose the road of least resistance and used Jason’s name for all our bookings. I get it.
So at first the laundry people were having issues finding us. Sorted, by laundry. I cannot wait.
Well that was 2 hours of wasted time, but we got our steps up. FFS.
Breakfast time! Then refresh, and sightseeing.
Ian MacDonald had supplied me with a list of cool things to do, and as we have limited time we are going to do it ALL! Of course.
We are just around the corner from Pike Place Market (Pike Place Market), is a historic public market that has been a cornerstone of the city since its founding in 1907. It was established in response to public outcry over high food prices (hmm sounds like we need to kick start a few new markets now), allowing farmers to sell directly to consumers.
Many times, it has been threatened with removal or demolishment. But it is now under the protection of the Pike Place Market Preservation and Development Authority established in 1971. It covers nine acres and is home to hundreds of farmers, craftspeople, small businesses, and residents.
One of the main attractions is the Flying Fish. Not actual flying fish, well kind of. It is a fish-throwing tradition at Pike Place Fish Market. Fishmongers have perfected the art of tossing slippery salmon through the air. It’s like a seafood circus, and yes, they do catch them (most of the time) – there were a few dodgy catches when we were watching. I was pleased NOT to be in the line of sight.
There is also the first Starbucks and people line up for this. Just to have a photo taken or, heaven forbid, order some of their shit coffee (Jason’s words, not mine).
One of the most disgusting things here is not the fish, or the smell of fish but the Gum Wall. A wall covered in chewing gum. It’s both gross and fascinating, and in a world of covid surely a gross and sticky fucking health issue?
There are baking, cheese makers, potters and the usual charms and all sorts of stuff that you don’t want to clutter your house with. Or maybe you do, but we opted for no and kept on walking.
On our list is the Monorail and the Space Needle, so time to start walking. As we head to the monorail we cross paths with a lot of homeless, disturbed, and, in need of help, shouty people. This is quite a shock considering we have spent the last two weeks in Canada surrounded by extremely polite people, even those on the fringes didn’t seem to spend a lot of time yelling and shouting
Maybe I am just a bit sensitive.
We find the monorail and take it the one stop! The Monorail opened to the public on March 24, 1962 nearly one month before the start of the World’s Fair. At a cost of $3.5 million, the trains carried more than eight million guests during the six months of the fair, easily paying for the cost of construction. The full initial capital cost of the system was recovered and they made a before the end of the fair. BUT, it is only one stop. Quite funny really. Home – Seattle Monorail
And a little unnerving as you go around a corner and feel like you are on a very precarious lean. Sure it is safe, I mean, it was built in the 60s.
It conveniently drops us off at the Space Needle. Getting tickets was super easy, except the machine kept making my bank think we were being scammed, so my card got blocked twice
We thought it must be slow day, we pat ourselves on the back for our great timing, and we join the line only to find out we had been Disneylanded. That is where you are lulled into thinking the queue is small and easy, only to round the corner and see a hundred people in front of you.
We entertain ourselves people watching as we round corner after corner to get to the lift. There is a lot of information you can read about the construction of the needle. The one thing that concerned me was the use of the word “approximately”. Personally, I would rather they knew exactly the number of bolts preventing the whole thing from falling over.
There is a lego replica of the needle which is pretty cool. Needs a good clean though. A wee bit of elbow grease with a duster would not go amiss.
45 minutes later we made it to the top, it was worth it. The view is amazing and there are lots of photo opportunities, which Jason is THRILLED about.
We have a couple of refreshments, enjoy the view as well as the people watching. Tourists! Before joining the queue to head back down. In the queue I am suddenly best friends with a woman who gives me the full run down of her current health conditions, including, but not limited to, menopause, hip pain, and a recent knee replacement. My words were sympathetic, but usually I have trouble convincing my face to play along… clearly this time it did not matter.
I wish her well.
I had ordered a raincoat from Amazon as we were heading to Seattle and it arrived today. Unfortunately, it was not the size I wanted and I needed to return it. I filled out all the forms and simply needed to drop it off at the closest Wholefoods. No need to box it, address it, nothing. Just take it to the counter, the scan the barcode, take the item, and done. JESUS AMAZON, well done, it actually was that easy and gave me the perfect excuse to explore Wholefoods. That place is amazing. SO much cheese.
The Seattle Great Wheel is next, so we follow the blue line. On the way we see a gathering, a cluster, a brood, a fleet, a bouquet of fire trucks and, of course, firemen. Jason’s first thought is its our hotel and all our items have gone up in smoke. My first thought is, are any of them in calendars and, if so, where can I purchase said calendars for my friends.
Neither were true, actually I am not sure if they were in calendars or not, no time to ask. Whatever was going on, was clearly a big deal as all traffic was a standstill and there were at least a dozen appliances.
We make it to the Great Wheel, get tickets, join the very short line and off we go. Of all the wheels we have been on this was probably a bit meh. Mostly a view of the port area, which is never overly attractive. You get a view of part of the city, but nothing that really gives you the best impression. Later, we find that the Great Wheel is better to take pictures of than to actually ride in. Personal opinion. But if you are keen, more details can be found here: Seattle Ferris Wheel at Pier 57 | Seattle Great Wheel.
It is only early afternoon, and we really want to maximise our time in Seattle so I sign us up for a sunset cruise on a proper stick and cloth boat. We have enough time to head back to the hotel for warm clothing, pick up some liquid refreshments, select some snacks and join the boat.
As we walk back a couple of local young men walk, skip, dance past us. Listening to their Bose speaker which is cable tied to the side of one backpack. The lyrics are fuck this, fuck that, ni**er this and that. Super loud, I did not really mind, they seemed happy enough. If anything, I felt somewhat embarrassed that I didn’t know any of the tunes. I mean we were crossing paths with them for a good 30 minutes and I did not recognise one track. I am old.
The options for wine liquid refreshments are pretty slim. Oh Jeysus! Walgreens. We head back and look for options. There are not a lot and I feel like I am in a game show of some sort, where I need to make the least poor choice. I grab a bottle of red, it is from Italy and I hope for the best.
Jason is staring at the beer fridge with a level of despair. Ultimately we decide we have time to nip into the local brewery and pick him up a couple of cans. No wonder he loves me.
I have also located a place called The Cheese Box (yeah baby) who specialise in “curated to-go boxes of cheese & cheese accompaniments” they are talking my love language. I promise you though, I am not cheating on my favourite Church Mouse Cheese. They were not up to that standard. But hit the spot and if you are in need and in Seattle check them out The Cheese Box | Seattle’s Only Independent Dedicated Cheese Shop.
We have Pike Brewery beer, some unrecognisable Italian red wine, Cheese Box cheese selection, warm clothes, and are ready for the sunset experience.
It is a proper rag and stick boat, and both the captain and crew are women. So yes, we left on time.
The cruise was beautiful and being on the boat/yacht/floaty thing was super quiet and relaxing. At least it would have been if it wasn’t for our fellow passengers. One woman in particular, I thought Jason was actually going to tell her to be quiet, and he is the patient one.
I am unsure of her name, but I can tell you the name of her friends, her family, her cat, her gynaecologist and just about any other person she has met, EVER. The constant chit chat can generally be ignored but this woman screeched, actually screeched and seemed to take great pleasure in shouting, squealing, cackling and shrieking. I wanted to hold her under water until the bubbles stopped.
The rest of the her crew Lesley (the best friend), Zac (Lesley’s husband), and Mike (she is marrying him tomorrow – run Mike, run) are relatively quiet, this woman, I shall call her Fran Fine, grated like nails on a blackboard. It went on, non stop, for 2 hours. 2 LOOOOOOOOONG HOURS.
I thought, fuck it, I will have a large glass of wine and zone her out. Then I tasted the wine. OMG, I failed immensely. The wine is terrible. Bubbly sugar water. Jason loved it. The cheese was delightful though!
Whilst Fran continued to shriek in hilarity at her own jokes, I leaned back and tried to concentrate on anything else. Only to realise the short, ugly, little man behind me was lecturing his girlfriend (who was levels and levels above him) about why he is a great guy for calling her out on her behaviour.
Old mate feels that a sunset cruise is the perfect time to air any grievances he has and wonders why she’s gone very quiet. If I pretend to trip and accidentally push him into the water, would anyone notice. I am confident his girlfriend would count to 10 before calling out man overboard.
Shoot me, just shoot me. I cannot do this, where is the exit? Oh yeah, 2kms that way, on shore.
The time slowly, so very, very slowly, counts down and we finally return to the dock. We shall mark that down as one of the all time worst experiences we have had in our time travelling together. The story is a good one though.
It starts to rain, the sky is mocking us. We return to our hotel room, check to make sure our collection of pigeons is alive and well, they are.
Oh! I get a message, our laundry has been delivered. That would be amazing!! Early turn around. I dash downstairs to the reception, and ask if my washing had been returned. Please learn from me, do not ask anyone in the US about washing, they assume its washing yourself, laundry is the correct terminology to avoid being looked at strangely.
Anyway, no it has not been delivered, that message was incorrect.
Bollocks.
Goodnight sky rats. Shut the fuck up.
27th September – Sleepless in Seattle, well the pigeons slept
This morning we board our cruise ship for our Alaskan cruise. This is the experience around which I built the entire itinerary. Jason is addicted to all things Alaskan on Discovery Channel. Alaskan Gold, Alaskan Truckers, Alaskan Bush People, Gold Rush, Life Below Zero, Mountain Men, The Last Frontier, just to name a few.
We are both very excited to finally see Alaska up close and personal. Including all the creatures that live there.
Our boarding time is 1000am-1045am. Our washing is due to be delivered at 815am. We shower, we pack, we wait. And Wait. And keep waiting.
As 815am turns to 845am, then to 900am. I am really starting to panic. The company is not responding, and I am stressing out massively. Thinking of all the contingency plans, the thought of asking anyone at the hotel to do something outside the norm, nope, that is not going to work.
They can barely give you directions to the next street.
Oh shit, do I run across the road to get some underwear from Target? If I do, they would need washing, I mean laundering, too!
I have contacted our booked transfer and asked that he arrives a later, so we can give the delivery driver as much time as possible to deliver the washing. AND, with literally MINUTES to spare he does.
I am elated and furious and exhausted all at once. But I have clean underwear and clothes, so move on.
Never have I been so appreciative of our washing machine. I miss you.
Throwing it in the suitcase, dashing back downstairs where we meet our driver, getting to the cruise terminal in plenty of time.
WHAT A MORNING! Its only 1010am and I think I have aged years!
I never made it to the mothership, Microsoft, there was just not enough time. Jason has said he would never be back, but I want to give it another try…. hopefully I will get the opportunity.
Last thought for Seattle. The Fucking Taxes people. From our hotel room.
Room Charge – normal, will pay that, it’s the room I want.
WA State Sales Tax – 6.5% – GST, ok, sounds reasonable.
Local City/County Sales Tax – 2.2% – oh extra GST, just because.
Convention and Trade Center Tax – 7.0% – WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?
Seattle Tourism Improvement Area – 2.3% – Oh now you are just taking the piss.
If I do come back, I won’t be paying.
Victoria, BC
23rd September – Victoria
We made it out of town and to the airport with plenty of time to spare and absolutely no dramas. We had done our homework before leaving the hotel, asking both Uber drivers from the night before and the hotel receptionist to ensure we were heading the right way before I got behind the wheel and took out any pedestrians.
We figured we would have breakfast at the airport. Our bags are pretty heavy and we didn’t want to stress on when we arrived.
All the homework paid off and all the worry was for no reason. It was a 20 minute ride to the airport and even with the “peak hour” traffic there really were no issues.
Arriving at the airport the directions to drop off the rental car were easy and it all went seamlessly. I am waiting for the other shoe to drop. Will they try and charge us for something, is this the wrong drop off point, OR is this the wrong airport???? But no, it all went super well (do you like how I am adopting our Canadian/American vernacular “super”) now onto the terminal.
At the kiosk, no issues, get out bag tags, attach to bags and head to the bag drop. No queues, no struggle, this is WAY too easy. Looking over my shoulder to see who is going to come and get me! There is no way this is going to go smoothly. I mean, come ON.
The bag drop, bag 1, boom gone. Bag 2, boom see ya. Bag 3, “this tag has already been scanned”. Yeah, there you go, that’s more like it. The relaxing feeling that the universe has righted itself.
We seek out a, way too easily identified and way too helpful airline assistant. Rather than being told there was an issue and I would have to pay, or being made to wait 30 minutes only to find out they could not help me, he escorts me over to another counter, scans my bag and wishes me a safe trip.
What kind of devil magic is this!
Next is security. I know we are not in the USA but surely Canada has the same draconian and time sucking process that is used by their neighbours and best friend. Hmmm, nope, we are scanned, and other than asking about my power bank (which is the mother of all power banks) we are through and clear.
Because we had been so sure there would be issues along the way we are now through security and standing on the right side of the airport with 3 hours to go. When does that happen?
The airport is relatively quiet, plenty of room to sit. We choose a breakfast option, some sort of mass produced omelette, and settle down.
The bonus of having lots of time to spare, I can sit down and knock out some posts from our trip so far. After breakfast and taking into account boarding time, I have 90 minutes. That should help with the backlog and, of course, fill in a fair bit of time.
Jason takes the opportunity to explore the airport. I am really pleased to say that he decides not to go through the doors to the other terminal. Which is really a good thing, I would have been a bit miffed to leave him behind. Then again, needs must.
Time ticks along, I get a lot written up and done, surely it is boarding time soon. Ahh, delays. Hello my old friend. Not to worry, only a 30 minute delay. Nope, 45 minutes, nope, 60 minutes, ahhh 90 minutes. I am so productive.
There was one REVOLTING issue with waiting at the airport, there was this gross, disgusting, vulgar, mother fucker who was coughing and snorting, and swallowing. It was loud, it was disgusting and I was very close to pointing out he was in a public place and he was a gross human being. Jason reminded me that people here can be a little unhinged so I settled on glaring at him and wishing him misfortune. PIG. For the love of Pete, get a nose spray, blow your fucking nose, or (here is a novel idea) stay home. Oh, and this is in the area where people sit and eat…
Anyway, this repulsive excuse for a human being finally leaves the area. Yay.
Sitting in the airport is not exactly what I had planned for my day, but no point in fighting it, I make the most of the downtime and get lots done. Until finally, 10 days later – exaggerate much, our flight number is called and we will be boarding… SOON.
In the SA vernacular not now now. But now.
It is only a 90 minute flight and we are really, finally, on our way to Victoria. Wahoo.
The flight time goes very fast, landing without a hitch (always a relief), bags come out in the first batch. REALLY.
AND we have gone back in time and gained an hour. Win, win, winning.
Our first instinct is to order an uber, but when it comes back at $140 CAD (fuck off mate, you’re having a laugh) I realise that Uber may not be that prevalent in Victoria. We ask the Information lady about public transport, but that sounds like an absolute nightmare, so we opt for a taxi. This turns out to be ½ the cost of an Uber and possibly one of the worst drivers we have encountered in a very long time.
The vehicle is devoid of any electronic forms of air conditioning, so we intermittently crack the windows at 70kmh, which creates that bloody awful feeling of your eardrums being walloped 100 times per second.
The driver himself, not an overly chatty person (understatement of the day), either struggles with the theory of a consistent speed or has music in his head that he is tapping his foot to. This makes us both feel a little seasick, on land. It also appears that checking before changing lanes is an optional extra. Luckily, an excruciating 45 minutes later, we are delivered to our hotel in one piece.
Right from our arrival we are in love with Victoria. It is so pretty!
We are staying at Hotel Grand Pacific (Hotel in Victoria BC | Hotel Grand Pacific) which is right by the waterfront.
We escape our torturous taxi and head inside. The lovely bell people take our bags and greet us warmly. The young woman checking us in is called Summer. She is Korean, and an absolute delight.
Summer: Oh, I see you are from New Zealand, welcome.
JKW: Thanks so much, we love it here.
Summer: My parents sent me to New Zealand for a year to learn English.
JKW: Bites tongue, and does not say “why the fuck would they send you there to learn English”
JKW: Actually says – your English is excellent. I hope you enjoyed your time in New Zealand.
Summer: I loved it and I really want to go back.
Due to the delays we Don’t have as much time as we had planned to get to know Victoria and do our usual recognisance. There is still a few hours of light and we decide to spend it wisely, walking the water front and doing something physical. I’ve been sat on my butt for most of the day.
We wander around the harbour and after 30 minutes of walking realise that we really need to stop and support the local tourism industry. So a local pub for a local brew before continuing on. There are so many cute attractions to stop and take photos or post for photos, it has been really well thought out.
If you find yourself in Victoria and want to do a leisurely stroll, with lots of sights, I would recommend following this link and checking out the stops and options (trailpeak.com/trails/Victoria-Harbour-walk-near-Victoria-BC-6846).
At 5km we turn and head back towards town, we’ve been looking for a really good fish restaurant for dinner. The location of Victoria alone means they have access to some of the best seafood and we want to experience ALLLLLLL of it. After some asking and a bit of BINGING (yeah, I know, it still sounds so naff to say that) we decide on the weirdest sounding restaurant name…
Finn’s – Seafood Chops Cocktails. I am not entirely sure where the chops come into it but that was not on our radar. They had a table available outside, and it is the perfect time to be sitting down. The sun is setting and Finn’s overseas the marina. I can confirm the hype. The food was lovely, the service efficient and friendly, and the sunset phenomenal (Finn’s Seafood Restaurant | Downtown Victoria, BC Overlooking the Harbour (finnsvictoria.com)). Check it out.
After a very filling dinner we continue our journey back to the hotel. Walking through wafts of Devil’s Lettuce as we stumble across a Pro Palestinian protest. To BE CLEAR this is not a political blog. Everyone has the right to their own views. I do draw the line at violence for the sake of it and those people should fuck off. This protest appeared peaceful if a little fragrant. However, as we got in the lift to head to our room, some of the locals apologised for the disruption and noise.
I mean how fucking nice are Canadians!
We relax in our lovely room with our beautiful view. It is time to sleep.
Goodnight Victoria. You might not be in the rockies, but you still rock!
24th September – Victoria
The other think I absolutely love about Victoria and, to be fair, a lot of places in Canada, is how welcoming they are to dogs. We see them in stores, hotels, planes, and even some restaurants. It is no big deal, just a dog with a nappy on wandering through reception and getting into the lift.
Your every day occurrence.
I LOVE THIS. Though Harri would absolutely die of fright if we tried to put her onto a plane. Poppy would love this and take it as acceptance of the fact that she is not a dog but, in fact, a human.
We drag our asses out of bed at 700am. How lazy have we gotten! It does not take long until you become lazy huh!
We have plans for today, do a seaplane excursion over Victoria, we really enjoyed the one in Vancouver and thing it would be a lovely thing to do. We purchase tickets to do a 10am flight. Based on the lovely young woman’s recommendations when then head to Frankie’s Diner for breakfast.
Frankie’s is super cool, a traditional diner. With vinyl seats and laminate table tops. Our server wears a bowtie and the menu covers everything you could possibly want. And what Jason wants is eggs benedict and a good coffee.
The food is really good and the service is great. There is also an early bird special which was my favourite, eggs any way you like, with toast, and potatoes – I don’t know why but every breakfast seems to come with potatoes. Also, f you order your breakfast just before 900am (get the early bird special) then at 855am you can order a lovely mimosa, to be delivered from 900am, to wash it down. Nothing like eggs and a juice boost to start your day.
I had Jason convinced and even he imbibed. Finally seeing some real holiday spirit from this man.
This is now Jason’s local! We will be back.
As we leave the diner we notice a thick fog has rolled into town. This is some freaky shit, it silently sneaks along the street hiding everything from you. Amazing! It all just came from nowhere.
We walk back to the “airport” we are not surprised to hear that our scenic flight has been delayed. They are not going to be flying in this stuff.
With more time on our hands we head out for another walk. The fog lifts then runs back in again. Sly shit.
Our newly scheduled take off time arrives and so does our plane. It is looking positive, we all board the plane, Jason gets priority boarding so he finally gets a window seat. Happy man.
All loaded up in the Turbo Otter (for any plane freaks out there – yes, I mean you Allie Jones de Havilland Canada DHC-3 Otter – Wikipedia) we head out into the bay. Due to the location of the “runway” is it still a runway if its on water? Hmmmmmm. It is a really long taxi, even so, it seems like he is going the long way round, and round, and round, and round again. We are going in circles but we are not going up.
Then we are going back, back to the dock/airport and out of the plane. That fucking fog is back and we are grounded.
Well that was a lovely scenic boat ride, in a plane.
It is now 130 in the afternoon and we opt to have our flight rescheduled for tomorrow, the weather has got to be better right.
For now it is lunch time and we really want to try a food truck, of sorts, called Red Fish, Blue Fish (Red Fish Blue Fish (redfish-bluefish.com)). The reviews were good so our hopes were high and the queue was LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG. Being the lovely, patient woman that I am, I grumbled that it better fucking be worth it – what can I tell you, I was hungry.
Turns out all those reviews were accurate and the food was worth the wait, Jason got his much desired halibut and chips, whilst I had some sort of fish jambalaya type thing. The price is good, the food is good, the location is good. Worth the visit if you ask me.
Now that our bellies were full it was time for some serious sightseeing. we wanted to do the Hop On / Hop Off bus, a 90 minute tour around Victoria. The price felt a bit steep at $60 CAD each. The cashier said, its for the full day though, so you can do it several times. It was lost on him that it was 230pm and they stop at 600pm.
We pay, we get on. Going up the top of the bus to get the best views. It is mostly sunny but the wind is brisk. We have packed layers and are prepared for this. In the big scheme of things it is not that cold. Its not Banff or Lake Louise cold.
A really pretty and interesting city. Much more to it than you would think.
Absolutely! Here’s a quick and quirky take on Victoria’s history:
Victoria, BC was a lovely little hangout for the Coast Salish people over 10,000 years ago. Fast forward to 1843, and settlers, general hostility, and the Hudson’s Bay Company set up Fort Victoria, which quickly turned into a gold rush hotspot. By 1862, it was a full-fledged city named after Queen Victoria herself – good on ya Vicky. Today, you can definitely see the English influence, stunning gardens, and historic vibes.
Quirky Facts:
– Victoria is known as the “City of Gardens” with over 1,500 hanging baskets adorning its streets each summer. Shit that’s a lot of watering.
– It’s home to the narrowest street in Canada, Fan Tan Alley, which is just 0.9 meters (3 feet) wide at its narrowest point. Most of the tourists on the bus would struggle.
– The Empress Hotel, a historic landmark, is famous for its afternoon tea, serving over 750,000 cups annually – I would be more impressed if they served that much wine!
Our driver is a character and seems to really enjoy her job, for the records the bus is 45 feet long and 13.8 feet tall. Just in case you are interested.
We drive through busy streets, obviously when we boarded the bus we were in holiday mode and did not consider the fact it was heading into peak hour traffic. Laughable really, its not really that busy. The bus is 10 minutes late!
There is a deer, randomly walking down the street, apparently not an uncommon occurrence.
Real segway here: Takaya, the famous lone wolf of Victoria, BC, in fact I think he was the only wolf, which would make him the lone wolf.
He lived on Discovery Island, near Victoria, for about eight years and was the local celebrity, known for his unique lifestyle and ability to adapt to the island environment. Takaya was first spotted in 2012 after swimming nearly two miles through strong currents to reach the island – he clearly needed the holiday.
This dude was IMPRESSIVE! He developed impressive survival skills, like catching and skinning seals, hunting fish, and even digging for fresh water during droughts – smarter than most humans.
– Takaya was so good at avoiding traps that conservation officers eventually decided to let him stay on the island – I love that.
Sadly, in 2020, some wanker shot him when he left the island. Rumour has it that the wanker in question knew it was Takaya and shot him anyway, for the glory. I know I have said it before, but humans are scumbags. This human in particular, takes out the Scumbag award.
For those of you in the project delivery business, check this out. The oldest graveyard in Victoria, known as the Old Burying Ground or Pioneer Square (established in 1855 and served as the main cemetery until 1873). When the city decided to transform the area into a park in 1908, they moved many of the headstones but left the graves undisturbed. Who would have thought, don’t worry about doing the hard work, just move the labels, job done.
After we hop off the bus, see what I did there, we walk back to Beacon Hill Park, this is close to where we saw the deer wandering the street. Apparently there are lots of deer, peacocks, chipmonkeys, and squirrels. You had me at chipmonkeys.
The advertising did not lie. There were an abundance of chipmunks. I am surprised we made it out before it got dark, I had to photograph and video all of them. We also saw two deer just hanging out and eating. Not fussed by us at all, they are so used to humans and allow me to take great photos.
Next thing on the list is a tour of the harbour, we did a brief harbour tour aboard the sea plane, but we thought one in an actual boat would be nice. I am really exaggerating when I say boat.
We had missed the final proper tour, but the water taxi offered to take us for a cruise and then drop us off wherever we like… for a small fee. It actually was a small fee too.
Turns out our captain is actually called Dan. That is two captain Dan x 2 so far. The water taxis are very cute. Same as they used in Vancouver to go between little stops. Here, they are often referred to as “pickle boats” due to their distinctive shape and bright yellow colour. They are small, agile bath toys designed for quick and scenic trips around the harbour. Apparently, on special occasions, they will do a synchronised ballet on the water. I WISH I had seen that.
Captain Dan takes us for a cruise and then drops us to Fisherman’s Wharf, he feels bad that we have been so much and tells the lovely young woman there that we should be allowed a trip back for free – you fucking Canadians. I LOVE YOU.
Fisherman’s Wharf is famous for the colourful, floating houses, where people actually live. Poor bastards – all the tourists walking past your house looking in the windows EVERY DAY. You can also get fresh fish, a bit of a feed, and, according to one sign, the coldest beer in Victoria.
There are about 33 floating homes occupied by full-time residents. Built on concrete hulls or polyethylene-covered styrofoam billets, making them stable and buoyant. They are hooked up to town water, power, and (thankfully) sewage. Some a super tiny, but others are really quite impressive. Even with the little dog on the front porch. I hope that sucker can swim.
It does not take too long to explore the wharf and when we get back to the water taxi it is still Captain Dan, who brings us back to town.
It has been a really long day of sightseeing and we just cannot be arsed heading out tonight, so we grab some snacks for a picnic in our room, chill out and watch some trashy TV.
What a great day. Tomorrow we catch the ferry to Seattle. It is goodbye to Canada.
We don’t want to leave.
Wednesday 25th September – Victoria
Well the weather has finally caught up with us. We look out from the balcony and is raining and cold. Hopefully this will clear up in time for our seaplane adventure.
For now, its time to hit the gym, we have done nothing but eat and drink, a bit of exercise is most definitely called for.
Speaking of which, once we are exercised and refreshed, we head to Jason’s new local, Frankie’s Diner.
We take the advise from yesterday ordering breakfast at 850am and mimosas at 855am for delivery just after 900am – when alcohol is allowed to be served. James, with a new bowtie today, remembers us seats us at our “usual” table. Jason is chuffed.
After breakfast the weather, stubbornly, continues to be shite. We zip up our waterproofs and walk around the town killing time until our flight. Except, we get a text message, no go today. Very sorry, they will reimburse us. DAMN, the company (Harbour Air | North America’s Largest Seaplane Airline) was amazing though and they did a full reimbursement within days.
Jason does not want walk around getting unnecessarily wet, so we head back to the hotel and prepare our bags for Seattle. The lovely, competent, and amazing Summer organised a late check out for us. Informing me to join their loyalty program, free of charge, so I won’t be charged for the late check out.
Today we are getting on the FRS Clipper, which will take us from Victoria, BC to Seattle in 2 hours and 45 minutes. How cool is that. The port is just down from the hotel, walking distance, and Jason wants to do some reconnaissance to ensure we are prepped and ready for the operation. I normally scoff at this, as it generally leads to extended times spent at airports, train stations, etc for no benefit. But today, it worked out perfectly. The very helpful staff said we can bring our bags anytime and check them in which will 1. Cut down our boarding time, and 2. Mean it is done and dusted so we can spend our afternoon bag free.
We walk our way back, thank goodness the hotel has umbrellas, grab our suitcases and promptly check them in. Wahooo.
With midday looming we check out and boom, they cut off our internet access faster than an unpaid drug dealer.
Now, with a hankering for beer, Jason does not mind getting wet and we head out to the local brewery, Whistle Bouy. Jason really liked their beers but we were a bit iffy about the menu and decided we would head back to Frankie’s Diner for a late lunch. Did I mention that Frankie’s has the earliest Happy Hour in Victoria. You can order discount drinks and food items between 200pm and 530pm.
If you are travelling around Canada and want to eat out or have a few drinks on a budget, look up their happy hour menus. You can save a lot of money and if you don’t mind a late lunch or an early dinner it works out really well. Usually items from their standard menu.
Our ferry departs at 530pm, and we need to check in at 430pm. This leaves us with another hour to fill in before we head down there. So we head back to our hotel to maximise their happy hour offerings. This is very fortuitous because I had spotted a lovely handbag in the shop there, so, of course I bought it. Well, that’s not true, I bought two, whilst Jason enjoyed his bourbon.
Talk about successful and perfect timing, we finish up and head to the ferry. Its time to leave this beautiful place, it just does not seem we have had long enough. Hopefully we get to come back.
The check in goes relatively smoothly, especially considering we had to go through American Customs to get on the boat. Finger prints, I struggled to get mine to register – fourth attempt the charm, Jason was the pro though, scanned successfully on the first try. In case you are wondering, American security do not crack a smile. Don’t try it.
On the ferry we have “comfort” seats. More leg room, free snacks, a complementary glass of prosecco (yes Jason drank mine).
Turns out comfort class generally means you are 70yo and can’t move any faster than 1kmh.
There were lots and lots of beautiful rainbows to bid us farewell. Onward, to the good ol’ US of A.
Banff Banff Banff Banff
BANFF 20th September – 22nd September
We bid a very sad farewell to Lake Louise and start the trek to Banff.
We really don’t know much about this place except that it is a mecca for outdoor sports, especially skiing/snowboarding etc. And that it has a strange name that sounds cool if you keep repeating it.
Try it.
See! Banff Banff Banff
Anyhoo, the weather has cleared and despite my worst fears we are not driving through a snow storm. Don’t get me wrong, I have driven in snow before. I am just well out of practice. So was a little bit nervous, it was all for naught because the weather cleared and it was an easy drive to Banff, after the hours and hours I have spent on the road it is only 40 minutes to Banff (60 km) wahoo! Today is the day to cut me some slack.
Thank you universe, or neurotic planning…
As we drive into Banff we see what everyone has been talking about. Wow, fucking wow. Ummmmmm, wow.
We arrive at 1pm and our room is ready for check in, magic. I park up the chariot and we unload the bags. I have no plans to drive her anywhere during our time in Banff.
We are staying at the Elk + Avenue (Elk + Avenue Hotel Official Page: A Few Steps from Downtown Banff (banffjaspercollection.com)) it is mid range, but as we changed our dates to include Calgary, it was the best option we could get. The location is amazing, right in the centre of town, everything is within walking distance and the staff are incredibly helpful and friendly. We needed to do some laundry and had to use cash, $3 to wash and $3 to dry, I only had $5 so they gave me the extra dollar. How lovely is that, you Canadians are so sweet.
Off we go for a walk around town, brrrrr, the wind coming down off the snow-capped mountains is a little brisk to say the least. There is only one thing for it, and that is to find the local brewery. Jason has some sort of homing beacon that identifies a brewery from 100 yards.
In this instance he discovers the Banff Ave Brewery (Home – Banff Ave Brewing Co | Banff Ave Brewing Co) it is quite nondescript and you could easily walk past it, if you did not have a Jason on hand. According to Jason the beers are amazing, and he had to sample a few to be sure. They also had wine so I was more than happy to indulge him.
The bartender provided great insight into different things we can do around town. Including some hikes where we might see elk and/or bears and a restaurant where we can get a decent steak without having to give up another body part in payment.
Back on the street Jason and I have our beer and wine coats on to keep us warm and we head out for a walk around the river. Jesus wept, there are icicles on my eyeballs. It doesn’t help that I am sick – oh yeah, did I mention that Jason made me sick?
Everywhere you turn there are mountain peaks and stunning views the photos do not do it justice. But its worth a try so I take about a thousand snaps.
Dinner is at Melissa’s Missteak – great name (Melissa’s Missteak 2024 – A locally owned and operated restaurant in downtown Banff (melissasmissteak.com)) the food and service are great, and the view out the window does not disappoint.
Its been a long day, we have washing to do, I feel like shit, so after dinner we retire to our hotel room. Which, for fucks sake, is right next to the lift. Ding, ding, ding, earplugs, the best thing ever. Why can’t people use the fucking stairs. Fat bastards.
21st September – Banff Get Enough
Talk about a chilly start to the morning. -3 that is just plain uncivilised. Luckily we had a bit of a sleep in and gave the world a chance to defrost.
We have plans for today, get the bus to the gondola, head up Sulphur Mountain where we had lunch booked at the Sky Bistro. The plan seemed simple enough. Breakfast, go for a walk and look for bears, catch the bus to the gondola, boom.
In order to do any of the hikes in the national park you have to get a pass. In this case it is a day pass which, at $11 each, is quite reasonable. These have to be purchased at the visitor centre. Whilst there we ask is it really necessary to have bear spray.
There is clearly a party line when it comes to this as it is not noted as necessary but “recommended”. They take you through how to use it and what to do if you run into a bear. Then they tell you the cost of a can of bear spray… $75. You can rent it for $10 from some shops in town. I thought if we did buy it we could always take it home as a souvenier, but you are not allowed to take it on planes either in carry on or checked luggage.
Jason decides we do not need bear spray, it will all be fine. I am on board with this as long as he realises that I will be using him as my bear defence. I would like this noted by you all. IF I do, in fact, get eaten by a bear… he may have had this planned all along.
The first part all went to plan, we shared a lovely breakfast at the hotel, layered up and went for a walk along the Bow River. There is a really cool sculpture trail Art In Nature Trail | Banff & Lake Louise Tourism (banfflakelouise.com) along the walk and some of these are awesome. These beautiful and funny pieces are left out in the wild and, from what we have seen, are not vandalised or stolen. I don’t think that would be the case in Vancouver or Kelowna – though I could be wrong, Judgy Jo!
You have to be at the gondola 15 minutes before your booked timeslot. I guess they really want to spread out the crowd to stop everyone turning up at the same time.
Being the exceptionally organised person that I am, we arrive at the bus stop with 20 minutes to spare before the next bus is due. As is normal with public transport it was late.
Finally the bus comes around the corner, god damn it I love when a plan comes together. Except that it didn’t. The bus slowed just enough so we could read the lips of the driver as she said “sorry, full” and then kept on going. You fucking what?
Normally you could just wait for the next bus, but we have a booked time for the gondola, and we have a booking for the restaurant (who needed my credit card details to secure the booking).
Normally I would just suggest we walk to the gondola but we were warned against that last night, a narrow road with no footpaths and lots of buses – not enough fucking buses if you ask me.
Lets break it down:
1145 Current time
1205 Next bus due (which might be full)
10 minute drive to the gondola
1200 gondola booking
8 minute gondola ride to the top
1230 lunch booking
Well that is not going to work. We make the decision to walk back to town, its only a 15 minute walk, and regroup. I jump on the phone to change our gondola time and explain the situation.
I got through relatively quickly and the young woman said she would change our tickets to the 100pm gondola giving us time to get another bus there.
Next was to contact the restaurant, which just did not happen, no one answered, no one responded to messages, nothing. Ring, ring, and ring again. Nothing. Only option is to go and see them when we get there.
The hotel has a private shuttle to the gondola so we wait around to jump on that, it should get us there with plenty of time to spare. I open our new gondola tickets to find that we have been booked for 130 and our return tickets were for 110pm. For the love of all things sacred.
Back on the phone. Explain we were meant to be on the 100pm and that we are now departing before we are arriving. Quite the feat.
Unfortunately we can no longer get on the 100pm gondola, so they book us on the 130 and update the return ride so we don’t need to perform any sort of time travel.
Restaurant – still no answer.
Rather than risk waiting for a later bus, we opt to turn up early and hope for the best.
The bus leaves on time, and is not full. We arrive at the gondola at 1225pm. I head to the information desk and explain the situation, jump on the next one they say. Bloody legend!
We make it to the top and to the restaurant at 1240 – the server politely asks “hows your day”. I think she regretted that when the response came “its been a complete cluster fuck” and proceeded to give her the rundown of the full bus and trying to change tickets and couldn’t get through, but I was happy I couldn’t get through, because we made it, finally, and we were here, and did we still have a booking, and if we didn’t could we get a new one? Complete verbal vomit. Turns out we did still have a booking, and our table was ready, and the full bus thing happens all the time, even to staff.
We are seated and then reseated with a better view. Medical emergency, wine and beer please, stat.
The food was really good and the service friendly and informative. The world is set right again. Breathe.
If you are in Banff the Gondola (Banff Gondola Official Page: Amazing Mountain Top Views & Dining (banffjaspercollection.com)) is an absolute must. The views are spectacular and once you are up there, you have different restaurant options, I personally recommend the Sky Bistro (Unforgettable Mountaintop Dining Experiences at Banff Gondola (banffjaspercollection.com)) for the views and the food.
After stuffing our faces we head out to the different viewing platforms. This afternoon we had planned to do the Tunnel Mountain hike, we had bought the day pass, but because our plans had taken a bit of a left turn time was not really on our side. Instead, we opted to walk down Sulphur Mountain, it is only 5.5km and the track is really well constructed.
We see chipmunks, I have lost count of how many, but we did not see any other wildlife, definitely no bears.
As we amble down the mountain I wonder out loud “what is actually in bear spray”? Jason suggests citronella. I fucking hope not! The thought of scaring off a bear with a scented candle does not fill me with confidence. After a lot more speculation we assume it is probably some form of pepper spray. Which seems far more reasonable.
I have since looked it up, and it is definitely not citronella, if you are interested Bear spray – Wikipedia.
The walk is really lovely, and not too busy. There were a few very determined people walking up. Good on ya!
Back in town we visit the Brewery again, it would be rude not to. There is American Football on TV and couple of people watching intently. One of my favourite podcasts, Crime in Sports (HIGHLY recommend Crime in Sports | Wondery | Premium Podcasts) has a lot of episodes that covers players from NFL and I have picked up a wee bit of knowledge.
We started chatting to the American couple who were from Michigan and cheering on Michigan State University. They were NOT expected to win. So we joined the cheer squad and were educated on the finer points of NFL and NCAA FB. Apparently, from now on, we are Michigan supporters (they won BTW). Such a convoluted game, you can have 8 minutes left in the game and it take 30 minutes to play it. Watching the head high tackles its not surprising that most retire with a head full of CTE.
By this stage it was early evening and we decide to get dinner from the food court. I really want some steamed vegetables and, paradoxically, I also want some Popeyes Chicken. This is mainly due to the Adam Sandler movie, Little Nicky, I can report that Popeyes Chicken is nicer than KFC and did not seem as greasy. However, I don’t think I need to have it again.
What a great day, Banff is beautiful and welcoming.
It is time to hit the sack and get some sleep to the sound of the lift, ding, ding, god damn ding.
22nd September – Bye bye Banff and hello Calgary
Today is our last day in Banff, we are in no rush to leave, we have some life admin to attend to before we go for our last walk.
This morning, we are going on a bear hunt! The idea is to walk along the Bow River and towards the golf course where there are regular sitings of elk and bears. I would like to point out that we still do not have any bear spray.
As we walk along, scanning the track and the trees for anything deer or bear related I SEE IT.
I grab Jason, look, what’s that? It is a large, black, hairy shape. Really, have we finally found a bear.
Well, no we have not found a bear, I had found a large black dog. I am suffering from the “logadile” syndrome, I am so fixated on seeing a bear, that is all I can see. But now I have the song Bear Necessities stuck in my head and it stays there for the whole walk.
We were expecting a path to walk along but it does not seem to exist. Mostly we are walking along the side of the road and looking into the forest for any signs of life.
Quite disappointing as we had hoped to see more. Though I do find some adorable and chatty chipmunks and a very industrial woodpecker. That was pretty cool. We turn around and head back to town, there was no further to go and chances of seeing any more critters were low.
I NEED TO SEE BEARS.
Back in town we have a fabulous lunch at Block Kitchen + Bar (The Block Restaurant Banff (banffblock.com)) the food is fanfreakingtastic. Highly recommend.
And that was it, our last day in Banff, we need to load up the wagon and head to Calgary where we are having dinner with a very special young woman.
I recommend Banff to anyone, whether you like food and wine/beer, sighseeing, outdoors, or people watching, there is something for everyone and we loved it. We definitely want to go back.
22nd September – Calgary meh
Everyone told us the only reason to go to Calgary was to leave. You go there because that’s where the airport is. There is not a lot to do or see, especially if you have spent the last 10days in places such as Revelstoke, Banff, Lake Louise.
Regardless we had a special mission and that was to see the lovely Khali. Khali is the daughter of our friend Belinda, and has been living in Calgary for the last 5 months. As we were all the way over here, it would be wrong not to spend some time with her. Especially as she is winding up her time in Canada.
Driving to Calgary is much of the same except that you can really see the increase in traffic, the closer we get the more congested the roads. Welcome to a city. We hadn’t seen one in a while.
Its about 130km to Calgary, so around 90 minutes. My last long drive. We are staying in the centre of Calgary which, on review, was not really necessary as we were not going to do anything in Calgary other than go to dinner with Khali.
The drive was going very well until we got into the centre of town and all of a sudden it was not. Turns out that the address for the hotel is not where you drive in. This lead to the most stressful driving situation I had encountered since we set out. The GPS was having a fucking conniption and didn’t know where we were or where we were going. The map spinning like a top trying to find its bearings.
I had to pull over and try and work it out based on where we were currently parked and where we wanted to get to. There is a lot of construction with streets closed and There is a lot of construction with streets closed and one-way systems, all leading to a rise in my blood pressure and a rise in the likelihood I was going to run someone over. Which nearly happened as two people crossed against the lights and I was focused on the map.
Thank <insert your favourite deity here> my copilot pointed out the human targets and I slammed on the brakes. They were completely oblivious. After, what felt like a lifetime and was only about 10 minutes, we make it to the hotel. I handover the keys and step away! We made it.
This hotel is lovely, the room is huge and comfortable. Everything is very new and there is plenty of space to repack our suitcases. Tomorrow we fly.
We are meeting Khali at 530pm at the restaurant where she works, The Chairman. The plan is for cocktails first and then a big steak dinner.
We get dressed up, there is a dress code for this restaurant which makes me feel warm on the inside, order an uber and head over there.
We see Khali and she is looking amazing. Clearly the life of travel and working ridiculous hours agrees with her.
The bonus of having dinner with Khali at her place of work is you get the inside scoop on what is good and the staff are super lovely. I am sure they are super lovely anyway, but especially so.
After enjoying a couple of cocktails we go through to the main restaurant. This place is amazing. AND they play lots of Frank Sinatra (yeah, I know, its kind of in the name right) which is another thing that fills me with joy.
We open the menu and it is so easy to read. Check this out, the menus are backlit! So old people, like myself, can easily read the detail. I love this place. What a great idea.
On top of that, the food is FUCKING AMAZING. I have fois gras and it is divine. Jason goes for the steak tartare, and Khali orders the bone marrow. We swap and share and agree they are all pretty amazing.
The server brings out a massive platter of steak for us to choose from. Talking through the cuts etc. Jason takes this as a challenge and names each cut correctly. Well done.
We settle on Canada Prime, bone in, smoked ribeye, and a whole selection of sides, which feels excessive but they all sound so good.
When the food comes out I feel like we need a bigger table, I definitely need a bigger stomach!
Everything is delicious, I cannot emphasise enough just how good this food was. The steak was so tender and well cooked, the sauces perfect, and the sides beat all expectations. Without a doubt, one of the best meals we have had this journey.
Thanks Khali for the suggestion and thanks to the team at The Chairmans for making it such a memorable night.
If we are in the area again we will be back.
Chairman’s Steakhouse (chairmans.ca) GO THERE. You will not regret it.
After eating to the point of gluttony we roll out of the restaurant and into an Uber to head back to our hotel. Where we sleep a big and deep sleep, in a very comfortable bed.
Tomorrow we fly to Victoria. We say goodbye to our silver bullet and begin the final part of our Canadian journey. I can’t believe how fast this trip is going.
Lake Louise, You Sexy Bitch
Lake Louise 19th September
Getting ready to leave Revelstoke and super excited to be heading to Lake Louise, the advertising and photographs are stunning and I am hopeful that it will be just as amazing in real life.
We have a quick breakfast, pack up the silver bullet, and hit the road.
It is 2 hours 30 to Lake Louise, approximately 230km. I am behind the wheel and kick the ponies into action. There is a little town called Golden, our tour guide from Whistler recommended it as a stop, and is home to Canada’s highest suspension bridge, 426 feet!
Gold is just past the midway point and Jason had offered to drive from there. Reluctantly but the offer was appreciated. We approached Golden and missed the turn off, no problem, surely there will be another one. Either we missed that one too, or there was only one turnoff. Either way we sailed past Golden and the suspension bridge. Meh, shit happens.
Looking back I am so pleased that we did not make it to Golden as that would have eaten into our time at Lake Louise and HMFSB, you want to spend as much time there as humanly possible.
There was a lot more road construction as we got closer to Lake Louise, but we still averaged between 120kmh and 140kmh – I LOVE THIS.
But suddenly, it is going to take us an extra hour to get there, how the fuck did that happen, I did not take the wrong turn off, I did not turn us around and point us in the wrong direction. Oh, hold the phone, the time to arrival has not changed, only the arrival time. We have just gone through a time zone, not a time warp (try to get Tim Curry out of your mind now, let’s do the time warp again….).
We have zipped forward an hour god damn it.
Finally we arrive at Lake Louise, not quite at the Fairmont Chateau (Fairmont Chateau Lake Louise – Luxury Hotel in Lake Louise(Canada)), this is where we are staying and appears to be the only place you can on the Lake. And there is a definite cost involved, there is a reason we are only staying one night. I have two kidneys and can only afford to sell off one.
A little about the lake itself, Lake Louise is a hamlet within Banff National Park, Alberta. Named after Princess Louise, Duchess of Argyll. She must have been quite a hotty to have this lake named after her, just saying. Lake Louise sits at an elevation of 1,600 m (5,200 ft), making it Canada’s highest community – weeeeeeeeeeell. Define high, from what we have seen Kelowna was the highest community we have come into contact with so far…
There are several snow-capped mountains, including Mount Temple, Mount Whyte, and Mount Niblock that hover above Lake Louise and no doubt add to the subarctic climate and annual snowfall average of 279cm!!!!
Winter temperatures can fall below −50 °C in January and February FUCK NO! Apparently even the summers consist of frosty mornings and crisp, cool days. Snow can occur in any month of the year (yep) the frost-free period averages only 14 days.
From the offset you can see why this place is 5 stars. We arrive at a gate where a young man, dressed in their standard uniform (think Swiss mountains and Sound of Music) greets us. You are not even allowed to drive in there unless you have a reservation.
Oh yes, hello Mr and Mrs Walford (sigh, it was easier for the travel agent to book this under Jason’s name – caused a few issues) we can see you are staying for one night. Would you like to self-park or valet. No valet baby let’s keep the eye watering cost to a minimum where logical.
We are directed to drive to the front of the hotel and the bell people (bell boys, so last century) took our bags away, gave me directions to park the car. Despite the cost this place is fully booked, people are actually having conference here! You cannot tell from the service though, there is no one rushed, or stressed, or too busy to help you.
We are checked in by our Aussie man, Kye, from NSW. He gives us the low down on what we can do and takes all our details. We will receive messages when our room is ready, and he provides all the details we need to go for a hike.
We gear up and buy some lunch. Because we are staying at the chateau we get a discount on food – thank fuck because $18 for a muffin with hard to recognise egg and bacon seemed a little rich.
Full price is for the day visitors! And there are thousands of those. We are feeling very fancy with our cards that allow us onto the premises and into the facilities, like TOILETS and the Bar.
We consumed our reconstituted food, and it was time really test my leg. There are several tracks we can do but, of course, we opt to go hard! Why, oh why do I do this shit to myself. Plain of Six is a 4 hour round trip consisting of 7km and a gain of 335 metres in altitude.
The track starts off easily enough stretching its way around the lake providing lots of stunning vantage points for selfies. 2km in we start to climb, it does not feel too bad, a steady incline, with lots of roots and stones keeping me highly focused.
Just as we set out Jason comes to a screeching halt. That’s a bugle he declares. I assumed he had heard a bird that was called a bugle, but no. A bugle is the Elk equivalent of a roar. It is mating season, and the big boys are out looking for a willing girl. It also makes them a bit aggressive, so pays to be aware and keep out of their way. Jason is thrilled, apparently this is a big deal.
As we are hiking I am receiving regular updates from the Chateau, our room is ready, is there anything else we would like. Yes, I would like to book dinner for tonight, boom it is done. I would like to book the tour to see the sunrise at Lake Moraine tomorrow morning, boom it is done. I LOVE THIS PLACE. Their extreme level of organisation makes me feel happy.
During this hike there are times when I am outright chastising myself, why, oh why did I think this was a sane thing to do. I know how unfit I am and how average my leg is. Yet I suggest that we do the longest walk and do all the things. Inside my head there is a fair bit of berating going on. Up, up, trudge, trudge, grump, grump.
CHIPMUNK! Well, that changes everything. As we head along the track we see a few little chipmunks. Granted there are a couple who have figured out that humans bring trail mix, and those suckers are not so little anymore. They also pose for photos and clearly have learnt behaviour. Works for me, I get lots of photos and videos to show all the granddaughters.
There was a very nice older Japanese gentleman next to me. Asking what they were.
NOJG: They squirrels.
JKW: No, they are chipmunks.
NOJG: Oh. Chip Monkeys.
JKW: Kind of, chipmunks.
NOJG: I have learnt a new word today, chipmonkey.
JKW: Me too. Me too. Chipmonkey it is.
We say goodbye to the chipmonkeys and continue our up, up, up.
There are a few more rushing across the track. Lots of dogs out for a walk too, living their best lives.
As we hike we can see the leftover snow from last season, on the highest peaks, just holding on to the ridges. The breeze coming down off the snow is enough to chill your hands and we need to put our fleeces on, but not so cold that we need long pants or beanies.
We are getting a few comments “you’re making me feel cold” or “aren’t you cold”. Always met with the same reply “just another New Zealand summer’s day”.
There was one young woman coming down the track in knee high boots and a tailored skirt, which made me look over prepared. A couple of young men in their loafers. Not judging, but fuck, asking to slip or fall, I cannot imagine they have any grip. Some of the track is on sheer cliff, granted it’s not hundreds of meters, but enough to do some serious damage on the rocks if you slip – a scenario that was running through my head quite regularly).
After 1h and 45minutes we make it to the “Tea House” a little wooden chalet with no electricity where you can order any of the 3 items on the menu, which sounded amazing BTW, have a hot drink, and recoup before heading down. We had not long ago ingested our pretend egg and bacon so just went in for a nosey. And it is so cute! The staff hike up and stay for four days, then head back down again.
Dedication.
There is a further 1.4km walk that will take you to the view of the glacier but, due to time constraints and the possibility of losing sunlight, we opted to start our trek down which was, of course, much easier and faster. Meaning we made it back, even with time spent watching the chipmonkeys and taking more photos. The views are magnificent and because I was no longer having an internal tantrum it was much more enjoyable.
A quick stop on a ledge for afternoon tea of chocolate and mandarins. Life is pretty good.
We arrive back at the chateau and decide the best way to warm up with a couple of beverages by the outdoor fire, which is not lit, but the alcohol helps. There are a couple of native birds who have taken a leaf out of the chipmonkey’s book and have sidled up to the tourists for some easy to come by snacks. I had a leftover muesli bar in my bag so coaxed one of them over.
Cheeky bastard, took one peck, glared at me, spat it out and flew back to the other table where they had nuts and cranberries. Fussy!
We watched the lake and the surrounding mountains until it was just too cold and decided to head up to our room which we had not seen yet. I was skeptical that we would actually get a decent view from our room, but boy oh boy I was wrong. We could see the lake and the mountains. How good is our life!
Jason’s back had been giving him such a hard time and he was in a world of hurt. When we saw the massive bathtub, it was time for a boiling hot bubble bath. Too funny, he had a wonderful time wallowing around and it, the heat and the beer he consumed soaking definitely helped his back.
This hotel is MASSIVE. No matter how many times we come and go and think we have figured it out, we get lost every, single, fucking time. I tell you, if The Shining had occurred in this hotel Jack Nicolson would NEVER have found Danny and Wendy. The famous line would not be “here’s Johnny” but “where’s Johnny”. Seriously, some of the hallways really reminded me of that movie.
It is truly luxurious though, stained glass windows, sculptures, oodles of staff who can’t do enough to help you and make sure your stay is as wonderful as possible. We DO NOT want to leave.
After perusing the menus we chose the Fairview restaurant, mainly because of the view! Yeah, it’s like picking a bottle of wine because of the label. The restaurant looks out at the lake and the mountains, and we choose to sit outside. There are heaters and blankets and wine, we will be plenty warm enough.
The view does not disappoint and even as the light is disappearing you just get a different perspective.
Our meal was outstanding, the service impeccable, and for the first time our server is from Canada Such a novelty. He is delightful and chats a lot.
Suddenly the view does change, clouds move in very quickly, not just fluffy clouds, but rainy clouds. They hit and they hit hard!!! No wonder people die in the mountains when the weather changes, this just happened over a matter of minutes, the temperature dropped, gusts of wind, and torrential rain.
Still, they lower the blinds so the water cannot get in, but we can still see out, pull the blankets tighter over my knees and turn up the heater. No point in moaning about it, we continue to enjoy our dinner and drinks before retiring to our beautiful room and another amazing night’s sleep.
I have signed us up for a sunrise tour tomorrow – yeah, I know. Dumbass!
20th September Lake Louise and Lake Moraine
Bloody hell that sleep was AMAZEBALLS! The beds are next level, and you have so many pillows to choose from, you cannot help but sleep like the dead. The happy dead though, not the miserable dead or the undead.
We drag ourselves out of bed and onto the bus. The lovely young man who is driving the bus is wearing his uniform, I hope he has thermals under this because it is cold, and he is not wearing a coat. Stop it mum, I don’t need a coat!
For fucks sake, Jason has made me sick now. Sore throat, headache, grumble.
It is a 25 minute drive to Lake Moraine (The Rockpile Trail Hike Moraine Lake, Banff National Park (morainelakeshuttle.ca)), but it seems that only tour buses are allowed to drive there. Probably a good thing as the road is pretty busy and not that wide. By the time we arrive the rain is back, and we just have to zip up, suck, up and get out there.
I am so glad I opted to swap out my usual running skirt for a pair of long tights, my legs are still cold – but I still have feeling in them. The rest of me is toasty warm.
In the dark we walk our way up the “Rock Pile”. The Rock Pile hike is stated as the number one thing to do, TBH it is not actually a hike. It is a stroll, and some stairs, and takes about 10 minutes, tops. Walking up steps to get a view of the lake and the Valley of the 10 Peaks. The idea this morning is to find a position and watch the sunrise. But, it’s raining people, so the chances of seeing the sunrise are pretty fucking slim. Nevertheless, we hike up, we stand, under a tree, and we wait with everyone else (even though it is raining it is packed).
It becomes pretty clear that the sunrise is happening elsewhere and we want to spend our time exploring. We only have 1.5 hours here so let’s not waste it on a fool’s mission. We “hike” back down the rock pile and decide to walk around the edge of the lake.
It is very similar to Lake Louise in the colour, the lake itself is much smaller but the mountains that loom over it are impressive. If we had more time, I would have loved to have done some of the bigger and more challenging hikes around here (Valley of the Ten Peaks – Wikipedia).
We spend the rest of the time walking around the lake, absolutely awestruck by just how beautiful this place is. I am running out of adjectives to really do it justice. Suffice to say its fucking stunning and I highly recommend you call by if you are in the area.
Time is ticking, its really, really, really cold (snowing off and on) so we head back to the bus. As we walk towards the Rock Pile I see this large white shape. I figured someone had bought a large white blanket to keep them warm as they wait for the sunrise that will never arrive.
But NO. As we get closer, I realise it is a bride and groom, standing halfway down the rockpile with the lake and mountains in the background. And the bride is wearing her wedding dress. Sleeveless! Smiling. Photographer giving instructions. I am extremely impressed, this woman has stamina, I am not sure I would go to such lengths to get these photos, but she was an absolute legend!
I realise what an absolute sook I have been complaining about my cold legs and this chick is out on the rocks, in her wedding dress. I bow down to you good lady, I bow down.
Photos are below, just in case you think I am making shit up to sound cool.
We are on the bus and heading to Lake Louise, our checkout time is 1200pm, which I think is pretty bloody awesome, it gives us more time to explore and not have to stress about checking out. Well done Fairmont, well done.
With hours left before we have to depart, we have a wonderful, filling, and extremely expensive, breakfast and decide to do one last hike before we leave. The weather is not great, thank the lord for yesterday, and we head to the lookout. It is, yet again, one of those occasions where I am thinking WTAF, why is this so hard. Every step is miserable, and I think about leaving Jason to it.
Granted, he has infected me with the dreaded lurgy, but it all just feels much harder than it should. I grumble, internally, tell Jason I will meet him at the top, and eventually make it.
As we hike our way there it starts to snow. It’s pretty damn special, I have to say, the whole landscape goes silent, yes, even the Aussies and Americans go quiet, whilst the flakes fall, and the forest feels magical.
We reach the lookout and take some photos, with the snow falling it looks spectacular… in the back of my mind I am thinking “I don’t want to drive in the fucking snow”!
Checkout, load up our silver chariot, bid farewell to Fairmont Chateau and wish we were staying longer. We are heading to Banff, which we have been told is amazeballs. It’s got big shoes to fill as Lake Louise has stolen my heart, and one kidney so we could afford to stay there.
If you can stay there, do it, you will not regret it. Its spectacular, special, and heartwarming.
ONWARD. To BANFF.
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